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Archive for June, 2018

New Apartment

June 28th, 2018 at 07:59 pm

I'm officially in the new place. Washer/dryer are going to be moved tomorrow with the help of a couple of friends. Still have some other odds and ends to get back over and grab, but for the most part that's it. All of the big furniture was hauled one carload at a time. No U-Haul. Just a lot of sweat. haha. I guess that means I don't have to feel as bad that I've been slacking on my workouts.

DH and I split the phone today, so that's that. When the guy told me my new rate would be $75/month I verified that I'm not on contract - I'll definitely be shopping around. I've never really liked T-Mobile anyway. Sprint may be the first one I look at... Got the internet up and running today, which is excellent. I'm back in action and fully functional here now.

We scheduled a meeting with the bank next week to split the bank account. We're going to wait for our last shared apartment payment to clear, pay off the CC, then split what's left. It's looking like $8,500-9k each. So a little less than what we expected, but we've been spending a lot these last couple of months. Eating out too much, replacing belongings. It adds up. I'm looking forward to getting back to normalcy and cooking consistently.

We still need to start filing the paperwork. Today he mentioned he was "waiting on me." I'm not sure whatever for. I guess he wants to sit down and do it together? I'm not sure, but now that the living situations are all worked out, it's probably come time to start that process. I think we're both avoiding it a little. It's more than a little sad. And this week has been particularly emotional because it was my last week in the house. We went out to dinner tonight and had a nice time, but it was definitely a sad note I left on. I guess it just comes with the territory. When I move one of our cats over I think it's going to be even worse. But it's all temporary. Time heals and all that.

On a happy note, I'm really loving my new place and it's starting to come together. Looking forward to getting some things up on the walls and it feeling a bit more lived-in, but I think I'm going to be really happy here, and I think it's a great space in which to weather this transition.

New couch is just LOVELY. It's the exact mustard yellow beauty I wanted it to be. Did have a little manufacturer's defect in one of the legs and a weird situation with the pricing when I ordered - but the customer service was amazing. I've got a replacement leg and a $100 refund already in the works.

In *other* good news, my two best friends from back home are coming to visit for the weekend, and I'm thrilled to see them. It's going to be a lovely distraction. We don't have too much in the way of concrete plans, which I kind of like. Very low key and up to our whims.

I'll be updating more regularly once the finances have been split and I have a more accurate picture of where I'm at, but for now I'm just enjoying the fact that I'm starting to get out of the purgatory phase and onto the new chapter. There'll be some more interaction with DH and I for a bit, which I'm actually grateful for. It's a real weaning process. I'm going to miss him a whole lot. Some steps are hard and some are not so hard, but I feel like they're going to get harder as things become more final. I'm glad we're not rushing it.

At any rate, this is already a novel. I hope everyone has a great weekend and is making progress on their goals!

And so it begins

June 16th, 2018 at 02:22 pm

With the keys in hand and an idea of what my new place will look like, I've begun the process of very seriously planning it and figuring out what things need replacing, given that we're splitting all of our belongings. I made some purchases today - couch, kitchen table, lamp (my new place has limited overhead lighting), a litterbox. I realized I had quite a bit of Swagbucks accumulated a few days ago, so I used $75 in giftcards from that ($50 in Target, which went toward the lamp, the remaining $25 in amazon for the litterbox).

It's really important to me that my space be really welcoming and calming - both for the sake of the transition, and because I plan to be spending a whole lot of time at home to save money in the long run. So I'm poking around and trying to make sure I'm being responsible with my spending, but also splurging a bit here and there for pieces I really love and reflect the kind of mood and tone I want to embrace in this new chapter of my life without DH in it.

I loaded up my car and will be running it over as soon as my bedding is done in the dryer. It'll be the first real collection of things moved in (outside of a single chair and my yoga mat, which made their way earlier this week). I'm also making plans to go out tonight, and might shower and get ready over there so I don't have to run back home. So things are moving along in some fashion.

Went over a lot of our belongings today with DH to figure out who is taking what and what each of us will need to replace. I'm making an IKEA run tomorrow - mostly for little things, but I'm looking forward to a little trip. Also picking up a vase from the Facebook marketplace on my way up. Been looking for a tall tall one for a while now, and it's only $15. So I figured while I'm up there I may as well pick it up.

My Navient loans are officially gone, and I got access to my servicing account for the refinanced loan. I can't explain how good it feels to have gotten rid of that 11% interest rate. It's like a huge weight has been lifted. I definitely feel better about my financial situation in the separation because of it. Looking forward to making more positive changes there - paying off my car, another student loan.

Once I get in the new place and get settled in, I'm going to look to booking more freelance work. I've been getting a bit here and there just because I'm involved in the performance community here, but I haven't actively been promoting myself at all. That will change soon, so I can divert even more funds toward that debt.

Overall, I'm really looking forward to getting to the point where things calm down and aren't quite so emotionally exhausting. I know I've got at least another month or so, but at least it's something to look forward to.

At any rate, time to get some moving done. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.

Lease Signed!

June 12th, 2018 at 04:51 pm

I put in an application yesterday for the place around the corner from where I work. Heard back today that everything was smooth in processing and he had me meet him at the unit to sign the lease and give me the keys. So it's officially official. I have a place to live and can begin moving in.

DH heard back about his today as well, and it seems like things are progressing the way they need to there as well. His potential move-in date is July 8. I'm hoping to have the bulk of my stuff moved by the time friends come in from out of town at the end of the month, and will be moving things gradually until then. I don't have a ton of big furniture, so I can basically load up my car every day and drop the load off before heading in to work, and I'll be pretty much set. That has the added benefit of letting it be gradual. A sort of weaning away from my current life into my new one.

With the move-outs being so soon, we're definitely looking to split up our bank account soon. I pulled my deposit and first month's rent from the joint account, so we'll do the same for his. But we don't want to wait much longer than that.

Also need to separate the phone plan. Wont be difficult, we just haven't felt like doing it. Same with the divorce papers. heh. We should probably file those at some point. I don't think we'll wait too long now that things are moving along.

Did talk to our HR person today about getting things in order to switch my beneficiary on my insurance. DH was under his own plan, so it's going to be relatively simple. I need to think through my HSA contributions while I'm at it - I know I have some things I need to schedule coming up. I already contribute a tiny bit per pay period, but it may be worth it to add to that at least for a few months.

My student loan refinancing was supposed to go through today but I haven't seen anything on the Navient end. Hopefully that will go through soon. I'm pretty excited to see it disappear. Serious good riddance to that horrible company.

That's about all the news I have at this point. Until we get everything split it's hard to have an accurate depiction of what my finances will look like, but at least I know what my rent is. Need to get internet set up in the new place toward the end of the month. It's looking like that will be pretty standard.

It's all very bittersweet - I'm trying to focus on the fresh energy of a new beginning. It's really difficult to do in this situation, and I've been feeling really drained for about a week now. I know it's temporary and all, but it's been difficult. Hopefully getting in and getting things organized will leave me in a more positive place. I do really like the apartment, and think I'll be happy there. Time will tell.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Apartment Hunting

June 9th, 2018 at 02:04 pm

So I've been pretty aggressively hunting for a place to live. I visited my first apartment on Wednesday and it hit me in ways I didn't expect it to. The divorce is starting to feel real now. Things have been so amicable and fairly normal up to this point. But it's really happening. We'll be moving on to whole new lives within the next month or so.

The hunting itself has been fairly challenging. I did visit a unit literally around the corner from my work, which is very tempting - being able to walk 3 minutes into the office is pretty incredible. And I would have no excuse ever to go out to lunch or to get coffee, as I could run home really easily. I would have close access to the pool and gym (both where I work), providing free entertainment with so much convenience. Distance from not so free entertainment is an added bonus, as it's on the higher end of the range I was looking to spend.

They're also willing to let me have the keys now and not pay for June (just put the utilities in my name)because I wasn't planning to move until July 1. So I would have *plenty* of time to transition, which is really nice. And the place itself is really nice. More room than I need, but nice.

I'm looking at a couple more in the course of the next few days, and I'm not quite to the point where I need to start panicking. So I'm trying not to make any brash decisions. All of this feels so quick right now, and a bit emotionally hard to get a handle on, so I'm not sure if my hesitations are due to that or places not feeling like a great fit. It's tough to say.

Let's hope something in my price range comes along and really speaks to me. Or that I feel more confident in the unit I'm considering after seeing a few more.

My student loan refinancing is supposed to go through this coming week, so I'm more than a little giddy about that. This must be what real adulting feels like. haha.

Did some organizing in the office, and had a quick convo with DH about some of the things we need to split. Up to this point we haven't had any real disagreements about anything, and hopefully it'll stay that way. All signs indicate that they will. I count myself incredibly lucky.

That's it for today. Hopefully everyone is enjoying their weekend!

Back again! With even more change this time.

June 1st, 2018 at 01:03 pm

So here we are again – I haven’t posted in quite some time, and a big life change is happening. So I come back to the SA community. Y’all have seen me through so many life changes. Why should this one be any different? Ha.

So I’m getting a divorce. DH and I have been unhappy for a long time and grown apart pretty drastically over the last few years since we got married. It’s been amicable – weirdly, lovingly so. We both know it’s the right thing to do, and we’ll both be better for it. Our divorce thus far has been far healthier than our actual marriage. Irony and all that. Nonetheless, it has been hard. We’ve been together almost 8 years. It’s going to be a lot of history to shift away from. It’s going to continue to be painful. But I’m trying to focus on opportunity and the chapter that lies ahead. There is plenty to be thankful for. Not the least of which being our continued support for one another.

The splitting up comes with a lot of logistical stuff to deal with, and going from two incomes to one is going to certainly be an adjustment. I’m apartment hunting right now. We’re on the hook for our current apartment until the end of July, so we have some time. Just seeing what’s out there and hoping something amazing in my price range pops up… We thankfully have about $20k saved up in our joint account since getting married. We’ll be splitting that down the middle. We have no shared property, so things should be pretty easy on that end. None of our belongings will be hotly contested or fought over, so it’s really just a process of getting it all done.

I drew up a budget for myself last week and was more than a little scared about making all of my student loan payments. I’ve been paying about $600/month in minimum payments, and an additional $180 for my car. Which is a lot for just my debt… But I think I’ve worked it all out for the best. I was able to get my big chunk of private student loans refinanced (approval went through today) – which not only dropped my minimum down, but also my interest rate went from an average 10% variable to a 6% fixed. Needless to say, I’m feeling pretty good about that right now. Really happy this full-time job thing worked out for me after all. Ha. So that dropped my minimum payments down by about $150/month. Then with the money we’re splitting, I’m going to pay off one of my federal loans (about $1600) – which will eliminate a $130/month payment AND the rest of my car (about $4400). I wont have a ton of savings to show for it, but at least I know I’ll be able to cover my bills. And of course I save on interest payments.

And while I will have dropped my minimum payments, I don’t plan to only pay the minimums. In fact, I’d like to continue paying about the same amount every month as I have been. I just want to make sure I’m good even if I can’t go above my minimums. Really, I’d like to aggressively pay my loans in the coming year – in a way that I couldn’t before (both because I was paying so much, and because DH was so appalled by my minimums that paying above was not an option). My plan is to divert the majority (if not all) of my freelance income toward debt. And step up the amount of that I’m doing.

My other plan is to ask for a raise – sooner than later. I have more than demonstrated my value since starting my job, and my boss is amply aware that I should be getting paid more. We’ll see what I can swing (or rather, what he can swing).

So I’m getting there. I’m plotting and planning and trying to figure out all of the things I’ll be able to manage through it all. To be completely honest, I’m ecstatic to get to live alone again. I really enjoyed it when I did. And while of course it was amazing to have shared finances, I’m excited to have the opportunity to really dig into paying off my debt in a way I haven’t been able to. I think it will be so freeing to see it being chipped away at, and will put me in a great position for the next chapter of my life – because I honestly don’t know what it will look like or where it will be.

I’m just beyond thankfully that I’m not finding myself in an awful position through all of this. I understand that I am truly lucky (from both an emotional and financial standpoint) for things to be as smooth as they are.

There are a million things I could update here, of course. But for now, I’m going to just be excited about this bit of progress. These days, taking things one day (or even hour, at some points) at a time is where I’m at. Just have to keep moving forward. Ever forward.

Hope y’all are well, and I look forward to catching up with your posts as I become more active!