I would consider myself among the many, many people in this country that have a real problem saying "no" when it comes to spending money. I am also among those who for the most part live above thier means.
I'm happy to say that I'm getting a bit better considering recent events, leading me to have to save an almost impossible sum. But I have noticed that it's a lot easier when my significant other is in the same boat, and much more important in the long run.
I fall into this trap because BF's funds are still "other" than mine. If I cant afford to go out to dinner and he can, he'll pay. But in the long run, if we get married, things wont be quite the same. It will still be "our" money being spent, so letting him spend money on things we dont really need isn't very productive either. Now, I dont intend on controlling my boyfriend's spending, even when he is my husband. But I do think it is important to be on the same page, and I certainly think it's easier to say "no" when you're not alone.
BF and I are both pretty broke right now, and as I mentioned, I'm finding it pretty easy to say "no" when a friend asks us to go out. Instead I opt to stay in and spend time. BF is doing the same. This is the first time that I've ever said that I'm "not going to spend any money on anything I dont need" and really followed through with it. I think that is in part due to the fact that I'm not the only one saying "no."
But I've realized that it really isn't all that bad to live at my means, or perhaps even a little below in order to do what is important and better for me in the long run. I've always been fairly frugal, but cutting out most of the "wants" to get to just the "needs" has been a refreshing situation. I know what is really important now, and not going out to dinner 2 nights a week, or buying clothes at the mall, or those other silly things that we all spend money on isn't sorely missed. I can do without and still be happy.
Now, I just have to make sure BF sees it so that when he doesn't necessarily have to say no, he'll still be able to
Saying "no" is so much easier when you're not alone.
May 26th, 2008 at 03:25 am
May 26th, 2008 at 01:21 pm 1211808081
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May 26th, 2008 at 07:19 pm 1211829552