So I've finally hit April, and that means I hardly have time to breathe. I've done okay this week so far, spending wise. Only because BF paid when we went out yesterday (he's so sweet). He got off work earlier than he has in months, so we ended up going to dinner, bringing our laptops and work. He had reports to write up, and I had things to study. It was so nice to sit and eat dinner and do work, and enjoy time with one another (taking a break from our work every now and again to talk).
After the restaurant, BF decided he wanted to go to the hookah bar, so we did, and had a couple beers and smoked some yummy honeyberry shisha, and did yet more work (and took more breaks and talked).
We got home about 10:00pm, and headed straight for bed (rather relaxed).
But I didn't spend a penny. I always feel bad when this happens. I mean, why should he pay for everything? I guess in the end it's both of us spending money (given that we plan on getting married some day... perhaps even soon).
So I guess it's time to drop the bomb here. BF and I, though we've only been together a few months, are talking about possibly getting married before he leaves for Iraq in January. Gasp! We're still talking about it, and we wont make any decisions for many months now, but the way things are going is just amazing, and there are a few practical reasons for it as well.
My main concern is that if something happens to him overseas I wont have any control whatsoever. Not to say I'll have a great amount of control regardless, but the military looks at the girlfriend of an injured soldier, and she's a girlfriend. I cant even get into a hospital to see him. I'm not "family." The military looks at a wife, and that's a whole different ball game. I've heard from others in the past that they were so happy they got married beforehand because it made taking care of the paperwork and the injury so much easier.
On top of that, there is a financial benefit. They'll not only pay him a little bit more if he's married, but they'll send me money on top of it (which I'll likely throw in a bank account because I'll be working). When it comes to that, it's a real benefit.
The other thing, that we've both talked about, is that getting through that year that he'll be away will be easier if we're married. It's a whole different level of commitment. Now, I think the end result would be the same regardless of whether we're hitched, I just think the wait will be easier knowing that I have nothing to worry about. Things would just feel so much certain if we were married.
Now, we've talked through the "what if's" and decided we'll have a very small ceremony if we do decide to get married, and it will likely be on Christmas-- so we can get both families together, and it'll be inexpensive, but intimate.
Needless to say, we're both pretty giddy at the idea of getting hitched, and we both think that if things are still going as well for us as they are now here toward the fall that there's a good idea we will get married, scary as that sounds! haha.
Well, let the "you're crazy's" flow! I've gotta get going 
Dropping the bomb, finally :)
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm 1207226657
April 3rd, 2008 at 01:16 pm 1207228588
You go, girl! I married young (at 20 after two years of dating) - 18 years and five kids later, I couldn't have been luckier or be happier. It was hard to get through college, but we did. We didn't over analyze things, we were in love and got engaged after a year. Good luck to you! Congratulations. Looking forward to hearing your frugal wedding plans.
April 3rd, 2008 at 01:18 pm 1207228690
Please be careful, that's all. I don't know the extent of your relationship, but getting hitched is a very serious matter that will have a profound impact into your lives... for better or worse.
On the bright side, I'm glad that you are financially responsible. I have learned that this aspect is critical regardless of what relationship you are in, and even when you are not in one.
April 3rd, 2008 at 01:49 pm 1207230591
April 3rd, 2008 at 02:26 pm 1207232762
April 3rd, 2008 at 03:12 pm 1207235526
April 3rd, 2008 at 05:13 pm 1207242805
Just be aware of NRE (new-relationship energy) and realize that it wanes. Do you see long-term companionship a pleasant prospect? Is he truly good to you and not just on his best behavior? (Paying for things doesn't necessarily mean anything.) Do you know the other people in his life? (You can tell a lot about people by their long-term friends and how they spend their time.)
Good luck with your decision! It's not the end of the world one way or the other, but nor is it to be taken too lightly.
April 3rd, 2008 at 08:06 pm 1207253206
In my previous (and much more long term) relationship, I was hesitant about marriage even after being together for almost 3 years! I know that's because somewhere inside me I knew that I relied on him to make me happy, and that is a phenomenal task for anyone. I realized that I need to make myself happy and focus on sharing that happiness with the person I'm with.
Some individual responses:
Joan.of.the.arch: I actually wont be going to school until the end of 2009, and we cant really wait til January anyway (he's leaving Jan 3 and I'd at least like to spend the first week of married life actually with my husband if it does happen. lol). When I do go to school, it'll be grad school, and I'm somewhat counting on getting accepted into a PhD program (read: tuition waiving), so it wont make a huge difference anyway.
ceejay: I've most definitely thought about the "NRE," but I see long-term companionship with this guy as absolutely wonderful. He really is truely good to me, and paying for things is never what comes to mind when I think about how he treats me, it just tends to be what I mention on this blog (because it has to do with finances). He's the nicest, most down-to-earth, amazing person I've ever met. I'm not saying he's perfect (nor would I ever want him to be), but I'm so very happy with him and all of his quirks and flaws. I've had to learn some patience with him, as we have very different ways of playing out our arguments, etc. But we communicate very well, and allow each other enough independence to be ourselves at the same time being happy together. I have met and spent time with his closest friends, as well as spent quite a bit of time with his family (whom I get along with fantastically, he's definitely a family guy). I've known him for years, we grew up in the same neighborhood, and we have such similar attitudes about life and what our place in the world is. We have great conversation, and can still just sit around and enjoy each other's company. We want to go out and explore together, and experience everything we can.
We've talked about things we want to accomplish, what we want for our futures... as far as financial, family, and career pursuits are concerned. Everything just seems to add up. And most importantly, I just feel comfortable with him, and there's nothing I've been so sure about in all my life than wanting to be with him for always
But that all being said, we're still talking it out, and have numerous times over. We still have months of being together, and exploring our relationship as it continues to progress until we have to make any decisions (especially since we want a very small ceremony if it does end up happening). All in all, however, I am excited to see how things turn out.
And that girl inside me is pretty giddy as well
April 4th, 2008 at 05:39 pm 1207330760