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Speculative Future Planning

November 6th, 2015 at 01:42 pm

So DH and I had a nice chat last night about our tentative 5-year plan. He's been working for the same employer for about 4 years now and isn't really interested in staying in the industry. He decided back in the spring to take a new job within the bank for the next 2 years - because they're going to allow him to work remotely from Nashville once we move and because he didn't really know what he wanted to do otherwise.

In the end, it didn't make sense to give up a rather sizable income with nothing on the horizon.

At that point, we talked about him going back to school and getting his PhD. We revisited that possibility last night, but now that we've got kids in the plan in 2-3 years, figuring out the timing makes it a little tricky. I definitely don't want him to be wholeheartedly distracted by an intense program in the first couple of years of our baby's life. And raising a kid on just my income is not plausible (at least with my business).

In the end, I told him I supported him returning to school, and we'd make it work no matter what - but in the mean time we should probably be saving as much as we can so that when we move to a greatly diminished income that we can get by. He's not the reckless type, and he mentioned feeling selfish for even wanting to go through with more school. Which is silly. Our family may face a rough patch in the beginning, but in the long term I'd like my kids to grow up with a father who is happy and passionate about what he does.

That being said, our tentative future plan of coming back here and buying a house after a year or two is probably going to face a bit of uncertainty and change. Which is difficult for me to sit with (I'm a control freak who likes her plans), but something I'm willing to work through.

All in all, though, it's really exciting and comforting to be talking with him about what's best for "our family" in such real ways. That's a newer concept for us, having just gotten married. It's definitely weird and a bit scary, but also something that brings so much joy and warmth to my heart. I could get used to it Wink

3 Responses to “Speculative Future Planning”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    Communicating about your plans and wishes is a good thing! Nice work you two.

  2. snafu Says:

    There is a downside to DH being 'happy and passionate' about his job/career. It is easily self absorbing, he looks like he's engaged or listening to conversation or play with DKs but his mind is 95% on a current career project or problem.

    DH might review possibilities of PH D in conjunction with current employment. There are lots of night school and Saturday programs/course work possibilities/opportunities. Distance Ed [on-line] is another possibility with summer school cohort the only 'attendance' requirement. the success rate is phenomenal as it is supported by the others on his team. Some employers will reimburse based on successful completion.

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    Good luck! My husband was working on his bachelor's as well as working full-time when we had kids. With the first kid, he kept attending school through her birth and early months, and that was really really rough. With the second, he'd learned his lesson and took a semester off around her birth, and that was a little easier.

    Of course a PhD is probably much more intense than I can imagine.

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