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Gotta Pull Myself Together

January 22nd, 2016 at 02:37 pm

It's been one of those weeks. Nothing horrible or tragic has happened, and I still have much to be thankful for. But it seems like almost every aspect of my life is in conflict or flux. Things with DH have been tense since we started talking about him going back to school - mostly communication problems. We seem to have worked through them for the most part, but I was in an awful funk most of yesterday after our 3rd tear-filled discussion on the subject the night before. There's just a lot to be worked out, and I think the uncertainty makes me anxious, and then he's been getting on the defensive when I bring up those concerns. We've addressed that. And I think we're finally at a point where we feel like we're playing for the same team. But it didn't come until after a bit of a breakdown yesterday.

That, however, stemmed from my mother - the usual point of stress in my life. My relationship with mom consists of 2 things: her talking (mostly complaining) and then her asking me for things - either directly, or more frequently "woe is me-ing" until I offer to fix it. I hate to sound so callous when it comes to talking about her. But it's an awful, one-sided relationship that she's never addressed (why would she?) and I haven't either. Mostly because I'm terrified of hurting her feelings.

To avoid the risk of rambling and sounding like a spoiled brat, I wont go into the specifics - but at her passive-agressive non-request, I'm driving 1.5 hours away next week and staying over at my mom's (new, way out in the boonies) house for 3 nights so I can cart my sister to and from class (40 min away!) while she's on vacation in Mexico. She called last night to ask for a few more things, and that's when the breakdown happened.

I've been trying hard to practice empathy with her, and see things from her side - but it may be time to have a serious chat with her. All I can think is thank goodness I'm moving. It feels sad to want to get far away from my mom. I truly want a healthy, enjoyable relationship with her. It's just been challenging to say the least.

So on top of tension with the husband and the family, my business plans have been up in the air (given DH's desire to go back to school), and taxes are stressing me out. At least my weight loss is still going well. And yesterday the kitties were extra snuggly.

All that complaining now finished... I really do need to pull myself together. The show must go on.

***

Dropped my local tax payment for 2015Q4 in the mail. Sent off my sales figures to the accountant for the second half of 2015 to get my sales tax filed and paid.

My Swagbucks from our honeymoon purchase credited to my account yesterday, so I bought two $25 gift cards to American Eagle to purchase the new swimsuit I picked as my reward for losing the weight. The rest will be stored until we need it - or I'll just buy Target or Amazon Giftcards to use toward groceries.

On my Chase Slate card it says that the balance transfer has been complete, but it's not showing in either account yet. So more waiting there. Just got an email saying that my interest rate just went up to 19.24%, so hopefully that'll go through before I get charged again.

Still under budget about everywhere - including gas. Actually, I haven't spent a single dollar on gas this entire month. I guess that's good given I'll have to fill up probably a couple of times with this whole taxiing my sister around nonsense.

Tonight I'm supposed to go to dinner with a couple of friends. I reluctantly agreed. We have so much food at home. We just haven't gotten together in so long. It's looking like I would spend $12 + tip. Not horrible, but also not money I really want to spend. Maybe I'll just eat a light dinner at home and get soup or something. We aren't going until 8pm, so that's probably not a bad idea.

Saturday night I'm going to a work holiday party with a friend, and then we're going out in my hometown - something I haven't done in years, and will be interesting to say the least. I won't be drinking too heavily, so I'm expecting not to spend more than $20, and hopefully half that.

Today I need to finish up editing a set I shot last week, and do some administrative work. I also might stop by the store either today or tomorrow. I'm almost out of coffee, and Giant Eagle is running a couple of really great sales that I'd like to take advantage of (including a couple of things that are straight up free if you're part of their program).

On track for only spending $200 on groceries this month. I'll take the victories where I can!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

4 Responses to “Gotta Pull Myself Together”

  1. CB in the City Says:

    It is better to communicate, even if feathers get ruffled a little, than to sweep things under the rug. If you reach a resolution, that's what's important. As for your mom, she sounds a bit egocentric; you'll just have to draw the line with her, kindly, if you can do it! Some people really don't realize how selfish they are acting.

  2. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    My mom and I's relationship improved a lot when I moved several states away.

    Good job on the groceries!

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    I don't have any useful advice but just wanted to express my sympathy. That sounds hard and upsetting.

  4. pjmama Says:

    Thanks for all of the support, ladies. It's very much appreciated.

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