Work last night was busy and a bit of a letdown. Sometimes just being a waitress is enough. It's not even the money, but the drop in morale one gets when they work thier butt off, and still end up with the bare minimum in tips. Why does anyone ever tip 10% if they are completely satisfied with the service?? Especially if it's a table of 7 very demanding people who see to it to interrupt one another every chance they get while a poor girl is trying to write down who wants what sushi and hey that guy over there changed his mind six times! I usually dont complain about my tips, ever, but there are just times that you wonder if you did something wrong. At any rate, enough of that rant.

I expect the rest of the week to be just as crazy, if not more so.

I went to the asian grocery store and trader joe's yesterday, to pick up the last few things needed for recipes I have planned for the week. Ended up spending $45 (I'm so bad at keeping on grocery budget, but at least I'm not eating at restaurants this week). I shouldn't have to shop again before vacation, however.

I did make a frugal choice or two last night. I took snacks to work to avoid a trip to the vending machine. I also decided against going to the bar after work (something I seemed to desparately want to do), and opted for a beer at home, in front of my laptop. I made a menu list for the rest of the week, and if I stick to it, I dont think anything will go bad in my fridge before I leave for vacation on the 20th.

Today I'll be cooking stir-fry, as I have bean sprouts and snap peas that will go bad if I dont cook them soon. I figure it'll leave me leftovers at least for one meal, if not two. That's lunch, as I have work at 4:00. Here's hoping I dont lose my mind! Or my feet dont fall off...

...I'm cracking down on this spending. For real. With vacation quickly approaching, I've realized that I should have MUCH more saved up than I do right now. I calculated out how much I'll need, approximately, and how much I'll make between now and then. It's a bit startling, but I also made my estimates based on lower income than usual. The restaurant's been doing very poorly for the last month. Lucky for me, the US open is coming up, and before vacation. I'm hoping this brings in quite a bit of traffic. The only downside is our big booming business is going to be majority foreign, so I cant expect booming tips (though if I do get them, I'll be VERY pleasantly surprised!).

My coworker has been teaching me some japanese here and there, I want to learn how to at least carry on a small conversation with my customers. Here's what I learned yesterday:

onomimono wa doonasai masuka?
(what would you like to drink?)

More will follow! It's been quite a while since my last japanese class, so the refreshment is nice. Work tonight, but it's all you can eat. erg. Not the best of nights, most of us servers dread it. Bad tips, noone really buys appetizers or desserts, and it's a total mess. More work, more I have to tip out to chefs... poo. But money is money, so I'll just have to look at things optimistically.

As for the time spent before work, I haven't decided. I bought the 6th Harry Potter book the other day (got 30% off because I'm friends with the guy at the bookstore). I believe I'll be reading that for the better part of the day. Now, where is the real question. BF has class at 2:45, and I usually ride with him downtown at that point. HOWEVER, I usually end up spending $10-15 when I do that because I'm sitting around downtown for 3 hours and the evil forces of Starbucks, etc draw me in. The other option is to take the bus. This would cost me $1.75, but that's a bit less than $10. Not to mention, I'd be able to eat dinner at home. I suppose I could pack my dinner to take with me, but I was going to eat leftovers.

I got the Silver Palate cookbook for my birthday (thanks Gram and Gramps!) and I tried a recipe yesterday: Pasta Primavera Gregory. I cut it in half and still ended up with tons of leftovers. Not that I'm complaining I love leftovers. I did, though, have to buy bags of things (produce), so I'm going to be scouring my cookbooks for recipes to use the excess before it goes bad. I hate wasting, afterall...

Speaking of wasting, it's been bothering me quite badly lately. I'm trying to be much more eco-friendly and conservationistic. I bought 2 canvas bags at trader joe's for my groceries and started trying to recycle my paper products and such. But I keep noticing all the foodwaste that goes on here in the US. I work at a restaurant, and we put veggies and potatoes and such on the plate with our eentres. 70% of the time, those veggies go untouched and get thrown away. Same with rice. Same with fruit on the plate with icecream. I went to Chipotle when I was in Ohio. I told the boy I wanted a veggie burrito, so he heated up my tortilla and slid it to the next boy down, who put beef on it. When the first boy told the second that I wanted only veggies, he threw it in the trash! A bit heap of rice, beans, and chicken! I would have told him I would still eat it, but he threw it away before I had the chance. It kills me all the wasting that is done in restaurants when there are so many starving all over the world. There are days that I want to load up syrofoam containers with the untouched food that my restaurant is throwing out, and hand it out to the homeless! Or take it home... haha. Our veggies are pretty good, you know

Either way, sorry for the superlong post. Everyone have a great day!

It seems bad news doesn't stop coming my way! So here's the deal...

My best friend from high school is getting married in July. We've grown apart due to the distance and the busy-ness our lives lead post graduation and all that fun stuff. She's marrying my other dear friend that I introduced her to a couple years ago. So.

She asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was excited, she lead me through the selection process of dresses, etc. Her cousin was supposed to be one too, but she said that she had to bail due to insufficient cost to buy the dress ($63 didn't seem all that much to me...), etc. Whatever. So I haven't ordered my dress yet, I need to get my measurements as I have to order it online and I really dont feel like paying for tailoring.

I get a call tonight from my friend. She asked me if I ordered the dress yet, and I told her I was ordering it this week. Then she told me very apologetically that her cousin came up with the money and wanted to participate and she really thought that her cousin should be in the wedding and would it be okay if I stepped out so that her cousin could be a bridesmaid?

Of course I told her no problem, it's cool, no big deal, that's fine, etc, etc, etc. After I got off the phone, I started crying. My best friend from high school, the one I giggled with the first time we got drunk, when we went to prom together, the million concerts we moshed in, confiding in one another when we had relationship problems, scooping the first time we each lost our virginity, nights of watching Johnny Depp movies, or chick flicks, or making mixed tapes, or dancing around to silly 80's songs and singing into wooden spoons, choosing majors, staying at eachothers houses when family problems arose, taking her home from school every single day senior year, visiting on Christmas. I went to see this girl twice a day (the only visiting hours available) for the 2 weeks she was in ICU (a super rare something or other I dont even want to get into). I cried my eyes out and promised her any vital organ she ever needed. Ever. If it meant she'd get better, because she was the best thing that ever happened to me. And she was.

If it wasn't for me, she would have never met her fiance. And it isn't like I dislike her cousin, and it's not that I think she's being malicious. I'm just really hurt that I wont be up there when she ties the knot. Afterall, I was there the rest of the time. All the milestones, I was there. I'll still be at the wedding, but I'll be in the "pretty good friends" section, not the "Absolutely-inseparable-totally-best-friends-forever" section

There's a girl my friend didn't even ask to be a bridesmaid that is one. My friend was one in her wedding, so she invited herself to be one in my friends'. My friend told me she didn't even want her to be a bridesmaid, but felt obligated, especially after this girl assumed... Still, I'm the one that's been ousted. I dont want to be angry, and I dont want to be catty, it's just so hard to not get upset and pissed, because what the hell? What do I mean to her anymore? It's enough that she blows me off when I try to hang out with her the few times I'm in town, but really. I never doubted that she would be in the running for my wedding, and I would never invite someone to be a bridesmaid and then take it back. Personally, I find it rude.

I plan to say something, I just want to cool down first. I'm not out to hurt anyone, regardless of what's been done to me. I just wish she would have thought about how I would feel. Of course it was convenient for me to be the one to step down, I hadn't ordered my dress. But what's really important here? I'm just not sure anymore.

Well. As many had suggested, long talk wtih BF did ensue, and then ensued again. I even had him talk with my boss (heh. We're really good friends, this isn't as out of the ordinary as some might think). Basically, he says that he has talked to his friends, and he's decided that driving isn't the best option to take, and we're going to fly out for only one week. I tell him to do whatever it is that he wants, because I'm planning a vacation of my own. Then he gets all defensive and tells me that he wants me to be a part of it yadda yadda yadda. I tell him whatever, just let me know and he can string me along (with heavy sarcasm, of course). I felt awful all day, taken for granted (as another pointed out), and basically was asking myself if it's really the right point in my life to be putting someone else's needs before mine. I'm still young! I should be doing what I want!

So come later tonight, after a long (awful) work shift. My co-worker asks me for the dates I'll be gone because she may be filling in for me and it's good info to have. Well, I tell her the two weeks we've been shooting for. When I tell BF he gets all flustered and says things about people still getting together when they're going to be able to go and this and that and I basically bite his head off because it's so awfully NOT courteous to be waiting this long to tell work, and he can shove it up his @$$ because I needed the dates. Now. This is when the argument started for the second time today, and that's when I put him on the phone with my boss, because I didn't feel it should be my responsibility to explain the situation. Luckily, my boss is a very cool and flexible guy who happens to be buddies with my boyfriend as well as myself. He's willing to work with us, which further "proves that I am the only one who is really bothered by the dates not being set in stone." Well, yeah. I'm one of the few, but really, does it matter if it's just me or me and a thousand others? I think not.

So. More argument ensued on the way home, and basically I told him that it's too young for me to put his needs before my own, I have, afterall, just become able to put my own first. When I lived at home, I had to do what my parents told me. Now that I live with him, even if he doesn't flat out tell me, I take his word like it's my parents, and I dont. He pointed out that this is my decision, and I said yes, it is, and I'm going to change it.

He suggested to not worry about California, and to plan a vacation for just the two of us during the weeks I had told my co-worker, and I told him I wanted to spend one of the two weeks at home with my parents for the 4th of July. He said he wanted to go to Missouri one of the weeks >_< . Basically I suggested that maybe we take separate vacations. Especially after he mentioned he needed time away from me. I agreed. I do want to spend the 4th with him. He was in Missouri last year, so I didn't get to watch the fireworks with him. Maybe I dont though. Maybe I want the fun weekend with my mom and best girlfriend. Who knows. I basically need to decide what it is that I want. It just stinks that I have to do it in a month or so. Ugh.

Let me say that I do not plan to break up with him. He's a really great guy and loves me very much. I really think I need to take our relationship differently, however. He is not my mom. I need to stop treating him that way. If I want to go study abroad, I will (and plan to). I'm tired of limiting myself. I feel like I've been untrue to myself. He's the one that got me to stand up to my parents, and it seems I've just got someone else to stand up to now.

I dont even know where I want to go, as I really only ever want to go to Europe. We decided on California because we wanted to take a roadtrip and we knew people throughout the country. I'm not sure I even want to go now, especially considering all the fuss the trip has brought on. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a better idea, or at least be able to think things through a little better. I'm so tired. Work was long and I haven't had a day off since last thursday. I'm overdue. Perhaps some online research will be done with a fresh start in the morning. Yeah, that sounds good. Later then.

My boyfriend is sweet, caring, and incredibly, incredibly inconsiderate at the moment. Urgh. Let me preface this entry by saying that I haven't taken a vacation in years, I've never seen the west coast, and he blew me off to go on vacation with his friends 2 years in a row because my schedule didn't *fit* with thier plans...

That being said, we decided about 6 months ago that we were going to take a roadtrip across the country. I was super excited to go because the furthest west I've been is Indiana, and I didn't even get to really see it. We decided ultimately to make some stops along the way, to see friends in Missouri, Arizona, and San Diego. That way we could maximize seeing people we dont get to see often, and have free places to crash. Thus, we have a few more schedules to accomodate to because so and so has summer classes and so and so has this or that. Now. BF has 3 weeks break between his summer quarters. 6 months ago I told him that it didn't matter which 2 of the 3 weeks we went on vacation, as long as I know well in advance to take those weeks off work.

Well. A month prior to vacation is NOT well in advance. He tells me for the last few months that it'll "probably be the last week in june and the first week in July." So this is what I tell my boss, because he obviously wants to know when I'll be across the country, and not serving food in the restaurant. My boss is cool with these dates, given that they are not during the US open, which is taking place in Pittsburgh this year (we'll be swamped). Let me also point out that my boss gives me MUCH slack in taking days off during the summer. He let me take my dad's b-day party, the saturday after my birthday, coming up in a couple weeks, my best friend from high school's wedding, and a few days off in the beginning of august to go to florida. When he tells me I need to be there for the US Open, I sure as h3!! need to be there for the US Open.

I'm talking to my boyfriend yesterday about vacation, and he says the dates have been changed once again. We're leaving on the 16th. This is when I politely tell him that no, we will not be leaving on the 16th because my boss told me I HAD to be in town that weekend. He goes into some stupid rant about how I told him that I could go any time during his break, and I pointed out to him that I said that GIVEN THAT HE GIVES ME THE DATES WELL IN ADVANCE, which he most certainly failed to do.

Then he gets angry because his friend wanted to go, and if we couldn't go those dates he couldn't go yadda yadda yadda. Dont get me wrong, this is a mutual friend of ours, and I would love him to go, but I am not taking off days that my boss says I cant. My job means more to me than that. Then my BF suggests me flying out to meet them later in the week, and I am totally flying off the handle at this point, because it seems that my needs are being considered LAST. I dont think it would have been as bad if it were the first time something like this is happening, but for the last 2 years it's happened. We were supposed to go to Canada with a friend of his the first year we dated. I was excited as I had just turned 19, but they scheduled it for a week I had to work, and I couldn't go. Last year, he went to Missouri without me because he went during a week I had class.

It seems no matter what, the vacation is never "ours." It is always "everybody's." And whereas yes, I am being a bit selfish, I dont feel like changing my schedule around for everyone else. He told me last night that my scheduling conflict was just like everyone elses, that we are all "on a level playing field." I told him to shove the playing field where the sun doesn't shine, because as his girlfriend and the one who wanted to travel in the first place, I feel my position should be at first fiddle.

I've been making considerations for his friends for a long time, and up until this point, I've just gotten over it. I dont feel I should have to buy a plane ticket and fly out when they're driving. It's the drive out that I was looking forward to, not the drive back. I wanted it to be at least in part MY vacation, but it never seems so with him. I told him that if I had to fly out to Arizona (where the one friend of mine we were going to visit lives), that I didn't want to see him the entire 2 weeks. And if I have to fly somewhere, I'd rather just go back home for the 2 weeks and spend it with my friends and family, or travel somewhere else. If I had known he was going to pull this crap, I would have gotten a passport and gone to london or something. I have a friend and a cousin that live there.

Ugh. I just dont get how someone I love so much can be so obnoxious sometimes. Traveling is the one thing that I get really excited for. Mostly because I never get to and I always want to. I've wanted to travel abroad since highschool, and failed to do it because he thought me going to europe for a semester would break us up. I'm just so frustrated. I thought it was going to be a great vacation, and now I dont even know if I'm going. :P Oh well, I'll work something out.

...but the good news is that it was a no-spend day! Just a long double at work. And a bunch of bad mishaps. A friend is jealous because I'm friends with her boyfriend. Both of these people happen to work with me. Let's just say it was an akward-type day when she came in. We usually do things together... her, me, BF. But if my boss (her boyfriend of sorts) takes me out to lunch, then I get disowned. What??? She didn't really talk to me, which was fine because I was already stewing over a bad phone call I got earlier... words of wisdom: stay away from the low-budget movie-making crowd... there are some real low lives and things can get pretty ugly.

Aside from all that, I've got my last 2 finals tomorrow. Everyone wish me luck! I really cant study right now... too much on my mind, and I feel like I'm gonna cry. I only have 2 FRIENDS in Pittsburgh, and for some reason they're arguing over ME. I dont get females and jealousy at all.

I'm just lucky my boss let me take a shot of Captain right after I clocked out... it relaxed me a bit :/

I just didn't win tonight. Not one break. Zilch. Let me expain:

I work at a japanese restaurant. It's pretty upscale. We get fairly busy on saturday nights. Tonight's recap...

The first table of the night: 5 highschool girls. Not only do they take a half an hour to decide what they want, but they all (as predicted) only ordered one sushi roll each. This is like going to an applebees or fridays and only ordering a small cup of soup. So okay, not a huge check, but to top it all off, they tipped me far less than %10. It gets better.

Customers who I happen to like came in. They had a big intricate order that seemed okay when I put it in, until the kid's, along with the dad's sushi had wasabi in it (very spicy, I would never feed it to a child...) When I took it back to the sushibar to get it fixed, I realized where the communication error had occured (we just got a new POS system), but my flustered coworker instead decided to get an ultra-attitude with me and I had to bite my tounge-hard- to keep myself from saying things forbidden to be said in front of customers. Oh, it gets better.

While serving shabu shabu (a very complicated setup involving a portable stove burner, a pot of stock, plates of veggies and beef, various sauces), my hostess and close japanese friend hands me a check for a new table and explains to me that the 2 people are a bit strange and she decided to give me the table because she thought I, as an american, was better suited to deal with the weirdos. WHAT?? It wasn't even supposed to be my table, and I was already swamped.

So a little more than peeved, I went smiling to deal with the crazies. She wasn't kidding. For an upscale restaurant, these people looked WAY out of place. Not to mention, the woman had serious OCD. Not like I'm speculating and making fun of the situation. She really had obsessive compulsive disorder. The repetition, the germ-phobia, the meticulous routine. The whole nine. Now, if I was in my school state of mind, as a psych major, this would have been cool. But you can only tell a person so many times that thier sushi cannot be cooked before you want to jab your eyes out. And the man she was with seemed to not get the concept that the japanese restaurant he was sitting in did not indeed serve chicken sandwiches OR fish sandwiches. On top of it all, they tipped me $1. I had to remind myself to breathe a few times tonight.

Aside from all that, my blood sugar started acting up mid-shift... I felt weak and shaky, but didn't really have time to stop and eat anything. I really need to get those shoes, too. My feet are still killing me. And to top it all off, I made on average $60 less than everyone else in my shift. And I was there the longest. Whew!

Needless to say, I stopped by the convenience store to buy some orange juice... I had some peach absolut just calling my name. I'm enjoying my well-deserved cocktail for the evening and looking forward to my day off tomorrow...

I got up to go to class this morning and it was pouring. I put on my new boots, busted out the new umbrella, and was still soaked when I got to class. I have to walk circa 25 minutes, and it was raining so hard! My feet were soaked for 4 hours... a little pruny... Gotta put my boots in the dryer! sheesh. And I was so cold and tired in between classes that I bought another coffee and a breakfast sandwich. I needed something warm! At any rate, that was about $4 spent on what I thought was going to be a no-spend day. Tomorrow... tomorrow I will triumph!

That's right, I said it, a 12 hour workday. No fun... I've had a lot going on, and there's been a lot of transaction-ing this weekend. Yesterday was my study day, and I'm happy to say I got much done. I commend myself on the great amount of time management I've done. Budget-wise I've let go a bit... it's my happy week and I did a little impulse grocery shopping- which ended up in a bar of chocolate and about 5 cans of soup, for some reason. hehe. Today was a bit different, though the sweets cravings raged on and I gave into a delicious starbucks applestreudel cake. I also took a visit to the bargain bookstore in the mall I work in. I found a couple things I can give away at Christmas time. A cutesy calendar about "bad dogs" that I think my mom will like, and a book I know my sister will like. They both totalled to $8 so it was no huge splurge. And I made really good money today. $45 at lunch, which was surprising because we were so slow... we had a highroller at the sushibar. And $100 at dinner. It was overall a steady night too. The only downside is that I have this awful cold. Which means salsa is out tomorrow night. But my coworkers instead are coming over to the apartment and cooking dinner, then we're going to relax and watch a movie. I like that. Relaxing day... just have some more homework to do before relaxation time. 2 big tests this week. Gotta love midterms! Well, better get going. Later guys!

So I've got good news and bad news... we'll start with the bad. Ugh. Last night was awful. Customers stayed 45 minutes after we closed and tipped me under 10%!! Japanese people dont have to tip in Japan, therefore they know not how to tip in the US. Slightly frustrated... stayed up until 2:30 last night because I didn't get home until after 11 and I had things to do. 3 quizzes today. grr. Now the good news...
I'm going to visit my family and friends in my hometown this weekend, which is great because I haven't seen anyone in a month and a half. Also, yesterday I had my first no-spend day of the month, only 3 more to go to reach my goal! I got out of class at 9:20, and instead of buying coffee on campus, I went into work an hour early, put on a pot of coffee, and studied an hour before I had to clock in. Saved me $1.39. The other good news is that I made $40 more than I estimated yesterday, which I guess makes up for being under for the last couple days. But I've been saving money on campus all week, so I'm proud of myself. Immensely! Today should be alright, though I'm going to lunch with a friend... weekly ritual. Either way, must get going!

I think by the time I went to work last night, I felt a bit better. And once I was on my feet and moving around, a little closer to normal. I'm still a bit tired and sniffly, but for the most part- I'm upright. :P Work last night, however, was not so happy. One of my coworkers assumes way too much when he's "running the show" and cut our shared 20-person party's tip 4 ways instead of 3 [there were only 3 of us waitresses serving the table!] No one else seemed to mind, though, because the other 2 servers were his girlfriend and her best friend. Stupid. So I came home last night with $48... not the best of nights. Hopefully tonight will be better. Soooo.... as for today, I had to pick up some milk, $1.41. And I packed my lunch and some things to eat with my dinner, so I'm trying to keep it under $5 for dinner tonight. I accidentally slept through the first fourth of my class [you tend to need sleep more and sleep heavier when you're sick], so I didn't go. I'm gonna spend the time studying for the test I have later today. Not to mention, that means no coffee today. $1.35 saved! Hopefully it will be the start to a good day... I need one!