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allowances...

August 27th, 2006 at 01:55 pm

I find all the talk of allowances very ironic, because I just created one for myself yesterday- After a nice talk with my mother... one of those coversations that ends in the "Yes Mother," the kind that I particularly cringe at. Here's my situation: My parents are paying nothing- yes, not a cent- of my college expenses whatsoever. I have never held that against them. Until I realized that they went out and bought and expesive RV, a year-round campsite, and a golf cart. My father goes to Vegas every year, and my mother had a trip to the beach back in the spring. Where do I come in?? What's more, my mother wouldn't even cosign a loan for me until recently. Luckily, my credit score was good enough to obtain a loan without her signature.

I just recently moved out of thier house, so I am now financially independent of them. With the exception of my health insurance, that is. But I pay my own rent, electric, cell phone, transportation, books, and tuition.

So yesterday I was having a conversation with my mom about how relieved I was that my loans had gone through and I will in fact be able to go to class this semester. Big relief. Then I was explaining to her how I had to switch my loan from a year loan to a semester, and I'm going to throw the difference in a savings account and add to it throughout the semester to hopefully come to the total by the time it needs to be paid.

And SHE has the audacity to say: "Well then I dont want to hear about you buying clothes anymore. If I'm helping you I dont want you to blow all your money on stupid things." First of all, the only help she gave me was the signature that I didn't even end up using. Second of all, it is my money and I will distribute it how I see fit, and thirdly, give me a break.

That is why I decided to give myself an allowance. I dont think it's fair for me to completely eliminate all misc expenditures- including clothes- however, most of the allowance dollars will be put towards savings. Obviously my tuition takes more than just a little priority, but I dont think that justifies not having ANY spending money. A girl's gotta live and indulge a LITTLE, especially since the colder months are coming up and I could REALLY use a new pair of shoes. (I for the most part live in Birkenstocks. I need cold weather black shoes...).

I find it amazing how my mother- who gives me little to no financial backing whatsoever- can tell me how to manage my finances. Especially considering how poorly she manages her own! grr. Thanks guys for letting me blow some steam :/

5 Responses to “allowances...”

  1. spendless Says:
    1156691905

    I have two daughers in college at this time (2 have graduated). Three of the four lived on campus....with one currently at home (commutes to local college).

    I respect your independence and the fact that you are addressing your own financial issues. A very important lesson that some/many never seem to master.

    Yes...you should set aside some budget for your personal indulgence. The amount is up to you.

    Good luck.....keep blogging...

  2. LuckyRobin Says:
    1156713483

    Hon, your parents don't owe you a college education. Sure, it would be great if they would help you out, but you can't be completely shocked that they want to spend their own money on themselves. After all they've worked for it and earned it and spent several years raising you and probably spent a good amount of time wondering when their needs got to finally be first. So don't begrudge them their vacation and RV and golf cart.

    That being said, you are in charge of your budget, no one is helping you and it is your responsibility to take care of yourself the way you see fit. Your mother will still try to tell you what to do. That's the habit of a lifetime and what mother's do. Just nod, smile, say yes mother and do your own thing. Budget carefully and there is no reason why you shouldn't have a bit of spending money for little luxuries and the occassional nice outfit, movie or dinner out, as long as you can afford it. No one says you have to tell your mother what you bought.

  3. amberfocus Says:
    1156729994

    I feel you here with your parents and your education.

    My mother refused to pay a penny for my education (seven years of private school plus a really expensive liberal arts college), simply because I didn't go where she wanted me to study, which cost her bragging rights to her friends.

    My father paid for everything himself, even though my financial aid package took into account my mother's income because they assume that she'd contribute her share. Because he realized that my education is more than a stupid ego trip!

    It's possible that your parents are practicing "tough love" by not paying for anything, and they want you to learn about managing finances by throwing you off the deep end. Just know that you're taking charge, and don't let them get you down if they treat you like you aren't. You'll convince them someday.

    best,
    ~mimi

  4. Thrifty Ray Says:
    1156787115

    You are balancing alot on your financial plate right now, which has to be very tough so kudos to you for making it work!!!

    Your parents have balanced that financial plate for many more years and are certainly entitled to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

    It would be nice if they would offer to help help ("little to no financial backing"...sounds like there may be some already) But ultimately you own your life and what you do with it...Enjoy your journey and dont begrudge your parents theirs...and moms will be moms and always try to steer their young 'uns in the right direction...take it with a grain of salt and enjoy your allowance...afterall, you deserve it!!!!

  5. LuckyRobin Says:
    1157266394

    Of course, you have every right to be frustrated with your mother. I guess I didn't make that clear. It just seemed like you were mad that they spent their money on themselves instead of on your education, as well as that you were mad that your mother then tried to tell you what to do with your own money when she had no right. I did not mean to offend and I apologize if I did. My daughter is going through a particularly selfish stage right now (don't spend anything on yourself, Mom, spend it all on me) and that may have bled over into how I read what you wrote. Sorry.

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