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December Damage

January 7th, 2020 at 12:55 pm

Haven't updated in a couple weeks because life has been so nuts around the holidays. Christmas was good, fairly low key aside from the tiny one having the flu. Thankfully he and his brother are both feeling better after a week or two of flu and cough medicine. And he was in good form by his birthday party on the 29th - which was good, as it was in a ninja warrior-esque trampoline park (that was my workout for the day, and boy was it a good one).

We went to Chicago with the kiddos on New Year's Day, and stayed through this past Sunday. It was a great trip, and my first with kids, so things were very different from the travel that I'm used to, but we all settled in well and there were only a few minor challenges. Step-momming has been overwhelmingly a positive experience thus far, and the little one even took a break from testing boundaries and picking on me for the length of the trip. He actually was super sweet, and it felt really nice to have what BF and I are both referring to as our "first family vacation."

I'm thrilled that the holidays and all of the travel are over, though. I love my routine, and with the new restaurant opening in less than a month (a terrifying thought), work is insanely busy.

Not to mention, December was an *insane* spending month. I think I underestimated how much I would spoil both BF and the kids for xmas - and it was both boys' birthdays that month as well. Add in a trip to Chicago right after the new year and... well, let's just say things are going to be tight the rest of January. Thankfully BF covered all of the hotel, etc. But I tried to cover a good share of meals and entrance fees to attractions to contribute for sure. I did surprisingly little shopping despite staying right on Mag Mile, though I did hit a couple of stores. Opted out of the less practical but fun to grab a few work staples. My auto insurance also hit this month (I pay every 6 months), so there's that.

So. The rest of the month will be lean. Both in terms of spending and my lifestyle choices. New Year or no, my diet and lack of exercise has been catching up to me. BF is also feeling inspired to get back on track, so it'll be good having each other for accountability.

All that being said, I'm feeling good about the start of the year and what 2020 will bring. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. Happy New Year!

Holiday Travel is Over and Done

December 1st, 2019 at 03:09 am

I'm back at home in Nashville after a whirlwind of a week. Left for Louisville on Monday, for a meeting and then to get on the road right after we got the boys off to school on Tuesday. Drove to Ohio - spent the evening showing BF my old grad school stomping grounds and then had drinks/dinner/drinks. Really, too much to drink it turns out. We both felt pretty rough on Wednesday. But nonetheless, had a wonderful time.

We did some bouncing around on Wednesday. Breakfast with a friend of mine, then holed up in a tea shop for a few hours to work. Then hit the art museum (it's free, and wonderful) before heading 45 minutes south to spend the night in my hometown with a friend.

Thursday we woke up and shot over the 40 or so minutes to my mom's house, and spent the day with her, her BF's family, and it was a nice time. I tend to struggle through family stuff, and it was a little overwhelming to be in a house full of strangers for 5 hours, but I made it through and it was fine. Having BF there made things about 1000x better, and I was very thankful he came with. He said he enjoyed himself and meeting my family, though he got some context for some of my struggle. Which was good. I wish it wasn't so much so, but it is what it is.

We got up super early on Friday and drove back to Lou so that we could grab the kids, get ready, then head to his parents' house for their Thanksgiving celebration with his sister and her kids. It was a really lovely time, and apparently BF's mom pulled him aside to let him know that she likes me (I had met her on several occasions at this point, so it was nice to have that passed on).

Had some time this morning with BF and the boys. It was hard to pull myself away to make the drive home, but the cat has been at home all by herself for several days. I had someone stopping in to feed and check on her, but she gets lonely. She was very happy to see me, and I missed her, so I'm happy to get some time to spend with her tonight. I've been absolutely exhausted since getting home, and had grand plans to be productive. But instead I just watched a movie on Prime video and called it a night.

Looked over the damage from the week, and it's not as bad as I would have expected! I just barely went over my monthly budget for both bars and restaurants. I'm a bit over for my misc spending, but I also started buying some xmas gifts that I hadn't accounted for. It's one of the kids' birthdays this weekend, and I got him a gift for that as well as xmas (his brother's birthday is at the end of the month as well). I have a friend's baby shower this Saturday, so I'll be grabbing a gift for that as well. And hosting a few ladies from my apartment building at my place on Friday night for a little get-together. So it will be a bit of a spendy week. But at least November was a success.

This will be an exceptionally busy week, and with all the travel this week, I have a lot of work to get caught up on tomorrow. I'm very much looking forward to the holidays being over with and life getting back to a sort of normal. That being said, once they're over, we'll be opening the new restaurant. Then I'll have a vacation, then it'll be on to prepping for the move so... I'm not sure there's ever a sort of normal. haha.

At any rate, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday!

Some Big News

November 24th, 2019 at 11:07 pm

Spending this week was totally on track, which was great. BF and I did have an impromptu date night. He paid for dinner, I grabbed drinks after - but given that I've hardly touched my restaurant/bar budget for the month, I'm still tracking. Which is good, as we'll be going out a couple of times when we're in Ohio this week.

***

The big news isn't all that surprising, but definitely has a serious bearing on my life. My boss is selling our Nashville restaurant. It's been struggling for quite some time now, and all of the success we're seeing with our Louisville brand is basically being pumped into it to save it, so it makes sense to offload and consolidate our focus on that one, and the expansion we're opening in a couple of months, rather than spreading across 3 different restaurants.

That being said, once it sells (really any day now), I don't have much reason to be in Nashville anymore. ha.

I had already been toying around with the idea of moving back once my lease is up in May - I told BF that I wanted to spend 2 years in Nashville before heading back, but now that things have been getting more serious and I've been settling into family life, it's been on my mind. This makes the decision a no-brainer. I love my job and it pays well. Moving will eliminate all of my travel, and my expenses will absolutely go down.

BF and I have talked a lot about whether I would move in or find my own place. Barring anything crazy happening, we agreed that it makes sense for me to just move in. I live there a third of the time already, and we'r both excited about the prospect. He mentioned he was also thinking about (or rather hoping for) me moving back one year in rather than two, but didn't want to rush my timeline. So we're both on the same page.

So that's exciting!

From a financial standpoint, it's going to be really fantastic. My rent has been astronomical since moving back to Nashville - I'll free up even more funds to work on debt repayment, which is an exciting prospect. So good things all around!

I'm a little sad to be leaving Nashville so soon, but I keep reminding myself that I still wont be far, and can still pursue my passions - I just have to be intentional about it. But that's no different than it is now. So it will be fine. In fact, it will be great.

Hope you all had a wonderful week - and enjoy the holiday!

Laziness as a frugal tactic, and other musings

November 18th, 2019 at 02:27 am

It was a truly lazy Sunday, which was lovely after an extremely long (not bad, just long) week. I worked every day and had early early meetings the last three days, so being able to wake up without an alarm and not have to leave the house was fantastic. So fantastic, in fact, that it kept me from going out and spending any money.

I had plenty of stuff to snack on, and put together a nice soup for dinner in the crock pot. Caught up on the book I'm reading. Watched some Dr. Who and a movie on Amazon Prime. I got rid of Netflix last month after a few months of having it back. I find I run out of things I'm really interested in watching after a while, so I jump between the services. Given that I pay for Amazon Prime regardless, seems good to use that primarily.

Because there are three paydays this month and the second hit on Friday, I applied another $1,000 toward my student loans. I also booked our hotel room for next week when BF and I go back to Ohio for Thanksgiving (we're only doing the one night to treat ourselves, the other two will be spent with friends/family). He went in half on that, so about $66 for me.

I'm a little torn about the whole trip, as the holidays and spending time with family gets me very stressed, but I'm excited to introduce BF to a few close friends and my mom, and it will be far less stressful having him there with me regardless. And I'm not going home for xmas, so at least once it's over, I don't have much to be stressed about at all.

Spending this week was really under control. Did mostly eating at home - both here at in Lou. I'm not even close to being over budget for anything at this point in the month, which is great. We did take the kids out for lunch yesterday - but at the restaurant I work for, so we got half off. And BF treated me because of a (retrospectively) hilarious series of unfortunate events involving a motorized scooter...

I'm finding more and more that I'm missing him and (surprisingly) the boys after just a day or two. I typically love my solitude and the quiet, but I've found my last few stints at home have felt a bit too quiet, and far lonelier than I expected. Never would have imagined missing the chaos, but then again much of my life right now includes things I wouldn't have imagined. We decorated the xmas tree with the kiddos yesterday and exhausted BF and I flopped onto the couch and he asked what I thought (mostly poking at my OCD tendencies), and I said, "Messy, and imperfect, and just the most wonderful." He added, "Kind of like this life." And I couldn't agree more.

It's gotten my wheels turning about when I may be making the move back. There are so many reasons (financial included) that it would make sense to do so. And at this point, I'm not sure I feel prepared to wait another year and a half. That being said, I've got another 6 months until my lease is up. We have time to make that decision.

At any rate, time to get a few things written before heading off to bed! Hope y'all had a great week!

Hello Again!

November 6th, 2019 at 02:31 pm

Wow, has it been a while. The last time I posted, I had just split with DXH and was moving into a new apartment in Lou. Life was so different a year and a half ago, it turns out!

So quick update, I suppose.

I did move into a new apartment in Lou. I got my promotion and had a very difficult handful of months at work as I transitioned into that role, while dealing with the divorce. DXH and I finalized all of the paperwork for our divorce in January of this year. It went as well as it could have, and we are on good terms. Get together for coffee every few months. He's been seeing someone since last October.

After splitting, DXH and I decided to split our joint finances down the middle. I used that cash to pay off my car and one of my student loans. I consolidated my high-interest loans right before the divorce, so I got those interest rates down. I paid off another loan later in the year, so I'm down to one company and one bill per month for my student debt. I made a large payment this month and my sum is now to $27,628.63. Still MUCH higher than I would like it to be, but at least I'm at a point where I can start paying it aggressively.

I spent a year after the divorce in Louisville, working and trying to heal and figure out who I was as a person not with her partner. It was a very difficult 2018 for me, for many reasons. But I grew a lot, and regained a lot of myself and so much independence. It was the right call.

In May I found a new job that could move me back to Nashville. I'm the Marketing Director for a hospitality group and do all the marketing for our two (soon to be three) restaurants. It's rewarding, and it was exciting to move away from nonprofit for a while. I was making $50k with my promotion in Louisville. I got a $10k bump in pay when I took this new job. Which is good, because Nashville is insanely expensive. haha.

I found an apartment that I love, that I pay too much for, but can afford, and life is really incredible. I'm back to doing more writing and filmmaking, which is lovely and fulfilling.

My job brings me back and forth between Nashville and Louisville (our restaurants are in both cities), which means I travel a LOT between the two. Which would be less than ideal... if my boyfriend didn't live in Louisville Smile We met in March, a couple of months before I was supposed to move. It wasn't supposed to be a permanent thing, but it ended up being too good to let go of. He's incredible, a great fit for me, and 8 months in to our relationship living 3 hours apart, we're still doing great.

I spend about 1/3 of my time in Louisville for work and spending time with him - and his kiddos! He has two little ones, soon to be 5 and 10 years old. We waited about 6 months for me to meet them, to be sure that it's the right move. I'm glad we did. He and his ex's split is even more recent than mine, so we wanted to make sure we weren't rushing into anything. The kids are transitioning swimmingly, and we get along great, and it's been really lovely having my first taste of family life. It's not at all what I expected or would have planned, but it's a life that so far I am absolutely in love with, and I couldn't be happier.

At this point, now that things are settling into a groove and I'm not in the midst of several different serious transitions, I'm looking at how to best reorient my spending and get my finances where I want them to be.

The last few months have been really spendy - on both things that I probably didn't need and also buying a plane ticket to Portugal in March (SO excited and ready for a vacation). But now that my big purchases are over with (thank goodness), I'm refocusing on getting rid of this student loan debt once and for all. My minimum is $262 per month. I'm hoping to add a $1k payment to that for the remaining months I've got it and throw as much as I can toward it otherwise.

I would love to be debt free in 2021, if possible.

My expenses are high where I'm living, but I made good money and still do photography and commissioned writing on the side, so I do have some side income as well. It's far from impossible.

I've got $5k in my emergency fund (I have an emergency fund!). Was going to fund that to $7500, but I think those funds are better directed toward my debt at this point. Once I've got the debt gone, I can work toward funding retirement. I do have about $11k between my Roth and a 403(b) from my previous job. I have a TSP from my military days that also has a few thousand in it, though I need to work on getting access to that and rolling it over. It's just sitting hopefully gaining interest at this point, so I'm not too concerned about it.

I'm taking November as a month of challenges: 500 words written per day, no-spend, and a minimalism challenge (I already live a really simple life, but I want to take it further because ya girl has a bit of a clothing addiction).

It'll be good to get a hold on things prior to the holidays coming around, so here we are.

I think this novel is sufficient for now! I'm looking forward to getting back into the groove of the SA community again. I've found so much inspiration in the past, and can't wait to see how everyone is doing

July Recap

July 29th, 2018 at 11:51 pm

I can't believe that the month is almost over. It never stops amazing me how fast the time flies.

I've been in my new position for two weeks now and it's been more than a little stressful - to the point where I managed to get myself sick. heh. Thankfully that has calmed down and I'm trying to cut some other things out of my life to give myself some breathing room.

Went to Nashville both this weekend and last for events and doing headshots - $750 in extra income for the month, so not bad. That being said, I'm looking forward to staying in town for the next few weeks. It was a lot of fun nonetheless. I judged a film competition this weekend, and got to see so many of my friends from my creative community. It definitely reaffirmed and reenergized my desire to move back in a year, so that's really nice. Need to stay focused and financially prepare.

Got home and took a look at my financial picture right now. I'm not looking too bad. Once a payment and a transfer clear, I'm going to pay off the student loan balance at one of the companies I have debts with - roughly $2,500. That'll eliminate another $100 minimum payment and begin the process of snowballing this debt away. All the debt I'll have after that are two other student loan balances. And the credit card, which I'll be paying off in full every month (I just like getting the Amazon points).

Canceled MoviePass today (I haven't been using it) and Simplisafe (now that I'm living in a less intimidating part of town, I don't feel the need for a security system). So that will be some money saved.

Tomorrow DXH and I will be back at the old place doing the final cleaning and purging. It'll be nice to have that chapter closed - and hopefully all of our security deposit coming back. We were in there on Thursday getting a jump on it, and there were a few issues starting with leaking and water damage. It seems like we're moving out at a really good time.

Given that July was a turbulent month for me, and I moved, it was definitely a spendy one - but it feels good that things are separated now, that I made some long overdue progress on my debt, got a raise, and some freelance work that really makes me comfortable in approaching this new phase of my life successfully.

I'll be getting paid this Friday, and I'm excited to see what that paycheck looks like with the bump in my pay. Also excited to start August completely separate from DXH - no double rent or any residual stuff. Theoretically it'll all be my "normal" expenses moving forward.

There's nothing really left to buy for the apartment, I've got my washer/dryer in and functional (after having to swap out the cord for a 3-prong), and so I'm shooting for a very low-spend August. I want to really focus on my writing this month and get back into a solid creative roll again. Particularly coming off the energy I experienced over the weekend. I'm going to take a break from a couple of other activities and make sure I'm giving what's important it's due diligence.

That's about all I've got for now in this long-winded ramble. I hope everyone has had a lovely weekend!

Raise and Car Paid Off

July 14th, 2018 at 04:59 pm

This was my boss' last week at work, and I've been talking with our CEO about how things are going to progress moving forward (as well as learning a whole new job in just a hand full of days). Needless to say, it was an exhausting week - but of course there's good to come of all of it. One was the conversation I had about my pay increase.

I had given them a number last week that I would have been comfortable with. I'm currently making $35k, and asked for $42k as a base salary for my current job, not the interim department head. They came back with $39k for now - explaining that we can revisit after the transition time. They don't know how much they'll be paying the new hires, and there's a good chance that the department will be restructured a bit, so I can live with it. But during the interim while I'm taking over my boss' job, I'll also be making a bonus of $200/week - which would work out to more than he was paid monthly all things considered.

It's not quite what I wanted, but I didn't expect them to get there anyway. Our entire staff is grossly underpaid. Nonprofit or not, but I like my job and this raise certainly sets me up better on one income than I was before. For now, it's workable.

My boss that left, too, mentioned that they're going to need to hire someone new in his department coming up and would love to poach me. haha. So at least I know I'll have some options if things go terribly wrong. I wouldn't want to do that to the organization, so I likely wont. But again, it's good to have options.

For now, I'm just trying to stay sane and wrap my head around doing 3 peoples' jobs and enjoy my weekend. Things were overwhelming this past week, but they will be even more so without my boss around to answer questions and walk me through things. Trial by fire indeed.

***

Now that DXH and I split our finances and I have a decent handle on what my financial situation is going to look like, I decided to pay off my CC (I had racked up quite a few charges while replacing many of my belongings) and then made a $4k payment on my car, wiping that balance entirely. That's going to eliminate a $182 monthly payment, which I'm super happy about. Regardless of this raise, I'd love to have as much of my income freed up to use as I need to.

My account is going to have a surplus of about $3k at that point, which I'd like to move to a savings account and at minimum not touch, but hopefully add to. That's a nice little emergency fund. My only debt left at that point are student loans - shiny and refinanced. I'd like to start snowballing those babies ASAP. Right now I've got:

$2,570 AES Loan
$3,126 Great Lakes Loan
$31,146 Firstmark Loan
---
$36,844 Total

That total is still overwhelming but given it was over $50k at one point and largely rocking a 10% interest rate, I'm feeling okay about it. Just need to get aggressive. I'm hoping to eliminate the AES Loan entirely by the end of the year, and I think that's entirely doable given that I'm freeing up $182/month in car payment and getting a substantial raise, at least in the short term.

I'm also taking on more freelance work. Which may not be smart for my sanity, but is certainly a good financial move. That being said, I might have to step away from a couple of other extracurriculars. I'm already feeling the pressure on my time and energy. Something's gotta give. And because my goal here is to set myself up financially to possibly move out of state again in a year, the revenue-generating aspects of my life are probably not the ones to skirt.

I need to do some real soul searching here soon to determine where that energy is going to be best spent.

***

The rest of my to-do list right now is centered around getting the last of my things from the last place, getting it all cleaned up. Should be getting my $600 half of our security deposit back, so that'll help in paying off that loan as well.

Still need to start the divorce paperwork. That's a task for this weekend. As well as filling out my beneficiary changes on my insurance and adjusting my HSA - I'm planning to schedule a whole battery of medical appointments I've been putting off for a while now. Guess I should start adulting properly. I have nobody else to lean on anymore, after all.

***

At any rate, that's a lengthy update. I hope you all are enjoying your weekends and making progress on those goals! Have a good one!