Just Keep Swimming.

Haven't updated in a couple weeks because life has been so nuts around the holidays. Christmas was good, fairly low key aside from the tiny one having the flu. Thankfully he and his brother are both feeling better after a week or two of flu and cough medicine. And he was in good form by his birthday party on the 29th - which was good, as it was in a ninja warrior-esque trampoline park (that was my workout for the day, and boy was it a good one).

We went to Chicago with the kiddos on New Year's Day, and stayed through this past Sunday. It was a great trip, and my first with kids, so things were very different from the travel that I'm used to, but we all settled in well and there were only a few minor challenges. Step-momming has been overwhelmingly a positive experience thus far, and the little one even took a break from testing boundaries and picking on me for the length of the trip. He actually was super sweet, and it felt really nice to have what BF and I are both referring to as our "first family vacation."

I'm thrilled that the holidays and all of the travel are over, though. I love my routine, and with the new restaurant opening in less than a month (a terrifying thought), work is insanely busy.

Not to mention, December was an *insane* spending month. I think I underestimated how much I would spoil both BF and the kids for xmas - and it was both boys' birthdays that month as well. Add in a trip to Chicago right after the new year and... well, let's just say things are going to be tight the rest of January. Thankfully BF covered all of the hotel, etc. But I tried to cover a good share of meals and entrance fees to attractions to contribute for sure. I did surprisingly little shopping despite staying right on Mag Mile, though I did hit a couple of stores. Opted out of the less practical but fun to grab a few work staples. My auto insurance also hit this month (I pay every 6 months), so there's that.

So. The rest of the month will be lean. Both in terms of spending and my lifestyle choices. New Year or no, my diet and lack of exercise has been catching up to me. BF is also feeling inspired to get back on track, so it'll be good having each other for accountability.

All that being said, I'm feeling good about the start of the year and what 2020 will bring. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. Happy New Year!

It's been a busy month, with the restaurant opening soon. It'll get even busier as it gets closer to the beginning of February. Sheesh.

With Christmas this month, I ended up spending more than I intended, but I'm not in trouble by any means, and I finished all of my shopping and wrapping last weekend. The only thing I have left to do is purchase a white elephant gift under $5.

Other than that, my spending has been pretty decent. A few purchases here and there, but nothing major. I did sign up for a gym membership where I used to work. I have a fitness center in my apartment building, but I spend so much time in Lou that I haven't been able to get into a routine. So it made sense to make the investment.

Made an extra payment on my student loan, about $500. I'm always motivated when I can see the number in the thousands drop. I'm down to $25,995.73. Just barely under $26k, but under nonetheless! I'm determined to get rid of it all by the end of 2021. I think particularly once I make the move and my expenses are lower it'll be absolutely doable.

Took some time last week to prioritize and set goals for the new year. Feels good to have it all organized and on paper. I didn't do much goal planning in 2019. It was supposed to be focused on letting the chips fall where they will and exploring who I am in this new chapter post-divorce. It's absolute insanity to think of how much has changed and happened in the course of a year. The chips certainly fell, and I'm so happy for it. But this coming year I want to bring more intention to my days, weeks, and months and start working toward some more concrete objectives.

Among some of the priorities:

- Deepening my relationship with BF and the kids
- Getting the house in order
- Getting 2 months ahead at work
- Finishing and filming a feature
- Making time for my friends and family
- Debt reduction
- Self care
- Travel (I have one big trip in March and a few smaller planned)
- Health
- Potentially teaching a writing workshop

My plan is to pick 5 of these per month to really focus on, understanding that not everything can be a priority if any thing is to be. Not to say that everything else goes completely by the wayside when others are a priority. They just wont be the main focus.

So that's what I've got so far. Tonight we don't have the kids, which we are both looking forward to. Going for a movie date night. Then I'll head home tomorrow and it will be work work work through the weekend.

Hope you all are enjoying the season, and having a great week!

I'm back at home in Nashville after a whirlwind of a week. Left for Louisville on Monday, for a meeting and then to get on the road right after we got the boys off to school on Tuesday. Drove to Ohio - spent the evening showing BF my old grad school stomping grounds and then had drinks/dinner/drinks. Really, too much to drink it turns out. We both felt pretty rough on Wednesday. But nonetheless, had a wonderful time.

We did some bouncing around on Wednesday. Breakfast with a friend of mine, then holed up in a tea shop for a few hours to work. Then hit the art museum (it's free, and wonderful) before heading 45 minutes south to spend the night in my hometown with a friend.

Thursday we woke up and shot over the 40 or so minutes to my mom's house, and spent the day with her, her BF's family, and it was a nice time. I tend to struggle through family stuff, and it was a little overwhelming to be in a house full of strangers for 5 hours, but I made it through and it was fine. Having BF there made things about 1000x better, and I was very thankful he came with. He said he enjoyed himself and meeting my family, though he got some context for some of my struggle. Which was good. I wish it wasn't so much so, but it is what it is.

We got up super early on Friday and drove back to Lou so that we could grab the kids, get ready, then head to his parents' house for their Thanksgiving celebration with his sister and her kids. It was a really lovely time, and apparently BF's mom pulled him aside to let him know that she likes me (I had met her on several occasions at this point, so it was nice to have that passed on).

Had some time this morning with BF and the boys. It was hard to pull myself away to make the drive home, but the cat has been at home all by herself for several days. I had someone stopping in to feed and check on her, but she gets lonely. She was very happy to see me, and I missed her, so I'm happy to get some time to spend with her tonight. I've been absolutely exhausted since getting home, and had grand plans to be productive. But instead I just watched a movie on Prime video and called it a night.

Looked over the damage from the week, and it's not as bad as I would have expected! I just barely went over my monthly budget for both bars and restaurants. I'm a bit over for my misc spending, but I also started buying some xmas gifts that I hadn't accounted for. It's one of the kids' birthdays this weekend, and I got him a gift for that as well as xmas (his brother's birthday is at the end of the month as well). I have a friend's baby shower this Saturday, so I'll be grabbing a gift for that as well. And hosting a few ladies from my apartment building at my place on Friday night for a little get-together. So it will be a bit of a spendy week. But at least November was a success.

This will be an exceptionally busy week, and with all the travel this week, I have a lot of work to get caught up on tomorrow. I'm very much looking forward to the holidays being over with and life getting back to a sort of normal. That being said, once they're over, we'll be opening the new restaurant. Then I'll have a vacation, then it'll be on to prepping for the move so... I'm not sure there's ever a sort of normal. haha.

At any rate, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday!

Spending this week was totally on track, which was great. BF and I did have an impromptu date night. He paid for dinner, I grabbed drinks after - but given that I've hardly touched my restaurant/bar budget for the month, I'm still tracking. Which is good, as we'll be going out a couple of times when we're in Ohio this week.

***

The big news isn't all that surprising, but definitely has a serious bearing on my life. My boss is selling our Nashville restaurant. It's been struggling for quite some time now, and all of the success we're seeing with our Louisville brand is basically being pumped into it to save it, so it makes sense to offload and consolidate our focus on that one, and the expansion we're opening in a couple of months, rather than spreading across 3 different restaurants.

That being said, once it sells (really any day now), I don't have much reason to be in Nashville anymore. ha.

I had already been toying around with the idea of moving back once my lease is up in May - I told BF that I wanted to spend 2 years in Nashville before heading back, but now that things have been getting more serious and I've been settling into family life, it's been on my mind. This makes the decision a no-brainer. I love my job and it pays well. Moving will eliminate all of my travel, and my expenses will absolutely go down.

BF and I have talked a lot about whether I would move in or find my own place. Barring anything crazy happening, we agreed that it makes sense for me to just move in. I live there a third of the time already, and we'r both excited about the prospect. He mentioned he was also thinking about (or rather hoping for) me moving back one year in rather than two, but didn't want to rush my timeline. So we're both on the same page.

So that's exciting!

From a financial standpoint, it's going to be really fantastic. My rent has been astronomical since moving back to Nashville - I'll free up even more funds to work on debt repayment, which is an exciting prospect. So good things all around!

I'm a little sad to be leaving Nashville so soon, but I keep reminding myself that I still wont be far, and can still pursue my passions - I just have to be intentional about it. But that's no different than it is now. So it will be fine. In fact, it will be great.

Hope you all had a wonderful week - and enjoy the holiday!

It was a truly lazy Sunday, which was lovely after an extremely long (not bad, just long) week. I worked every day and had early early meetings the last three days, so being able to wake up without an alarm and not have to leave the house was fantastic. So fantastic, in fact, that it kept me from going out and spending any money.

I had plenty of stuff to snack on, and put together a nice soup for dinner in the crock pot. Caught up on the book I'm reading. Watched some Dr. Who and a movie on Amazon Prime. I got rid of Netflix last month after a few months of having it back. I find I run out of things I'm really interested in watching after a while, so I jump between the services. Given that I pay for Amazon Prime regardless, seems good to use that primarily.

Because there are three paydays this month and the second hit on Friday, I applied another $1,000 toward my student loans. I also booked our hotel room for next week when BF and I go back to Ohio for Thanksgiving (we're only doing the one night to treat ourselves, the other two will be spent with friends/family). He went in half on that, so about $66 for me.

I'm a little torn about the whole trip, as the holidays and spending time with family gets me very stressed, but I'm excited to introduce BF to a few close friends and my mom, and it will be far less stressful having him there with me regardless. And I'm not going home for xmas, so at least once it's over, I don't have much to be stressed about at all.

Spending this week was really under control. Did mostly eating at home - both here at in Lou. I'm not even close to being over budget for anything at this point in the month, which is great. We did take the kids out for lunch yesterday - but at the restaurant I work for, so we got half off. And BF treated me because of a (retrospectively) hilarious series of unfortunate events involving a motorized scooter...

I'm finding more and more that I'm missing him and (surprisingly) the boys after just a day or two. I typically love my solitude and the quiet, but I've found my last few stints at home have felt a bit too quiet, and far lonelier than I expected. Never would have imagined missing the chaos, but then again much of my life right now includes things I wouldn't have imagined. We decorated the xmas tree with the kiddos yesterday and exhausted BF and I flopped onto the couch and he asked what I thought (mostly poking at my OCD tendencies), and I said, "Messy, and imperfect, and just the most wonderful." He added, "Kind of like this life." And I couldn't agree more.

It's gotten my wheels turning about when I may be making the move back. There are so many reasons (financial included) that it would make sense to do so. And at this point, I'm not sure I feel prepared to wait another year and a half. That being said, I've got another 6 months until my lease is up. We have time to make that decision.

At any rate, time to get a few things written before heading off to bed! Hope y'all had a great week!

Trying to use this Sunday at home to get caught up on some things that didn't go as planned over the course of the week. I felt like I was in a weird brain fog since last weekend. I suppose those weeks happen, but I'm also hoping it wont continue through.

Was in Lou Tuesday until yesterday afternoon. Had a lot of time with the kiddos. Still trying to ease into family life. It's been an easier transition than expected, but I'm still learning the rhythm of structured routines with the boys. Yesterday was my first weekend morning with them, which was really nice. It was super adorable having us all cozied up on the couch together watching a movie. BF made breakfast. Then we did some cleaning and went on a hike.

---

Spending this week was pretty minimal. I did coffee out twice: I met with a friend to catch up at a coffee shop on Monday and then grabbed Starbucks on my 3-hour drive home yesterday. BF and I cooked every night and I either ate at work or at his place for lunch every day. Last night I caught up with another dear friend. He cooked, I hit up Trader Joe's to grab a salad mix, dessert, and a bottle of wine. Then we did head out after dinner to have a drink and shared some fries to snack on.

All in all, not too spendy.

BF bought me new wipers for my car, which was a really sweet gesture and sorely needed.

---

Been making progress on my minimalism challenge, and did manage to get about 6 pages of my screenplay written this week. Hoping to add more later today.

As I was digging around in some old notebooks looking for things to get rid of for my minimalism challenge (I'm already living very simply, so I need to get creative at this point. haha), I found some financial breakdowns that I had laid out last year around the time that DXH and I were going through the split.

At that time, I was making $809 per month in minimum payments between my car and student loans, over 4 companies. I had a total of $41,395 in outstanding debt, which means that I've paid off $13,766 since then. My minimum payments now rest at $262, which just feels like so much breathing room. I'd been paying over $600/month in student loans for so long (for a long time without making even a tiny dent).

So even though I haven't quite made it as far as I would have liked, I feel like I've made so much progress. It feels great to be down to just one debt payment, and making a salary that allows me to make meaningful progress on that goal. When I look back at my 2006 archives, I was talking about how putting $160 into a savings account over a few months was going to be a struggle. I did not come from money - or a family who was adept at handling it, at all - so taking a look at these numbers gives me so much gratitude. I feel very lucky and also proud of how hard I've worked over the last 10+ years.

---

The week ahead should also be pretty low-key. I'll be here in Nashville through Thursday, take a couple of days in Lou, then be back Saturday in time for a friend's film premiere. My plan is to focus on cooking while I'm here, and cooking healthy - as well as working out, while I have the fitness center at my disposal. No major purchases are anticipated, and I get paid on Friday. There are 3 paydays this month, so this one will probably include another $1k payment toward that pesky student loan. I would love to apply the whole paycheck, but I also realize that I need to start planning ahead for xmas, so I may just leave the rest in my bank account to pad it for the coming holiday.

I'll talk to my mom today about gift plans. I'll be making the trip back for Thanksgiving this year, but not xmas (for many reasons), so I'm anticipating just having to send a few things via Amazon like I have for the last couple of years. I'll need to discuss gifts with BF, too - both for us, and the kids. I'll of course want to get them both something, and their birthdays both fall in December as well. So we shall see.

Hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday, and has a great start to the new week tomorrow!

Wow, has it been a while. The last time I posted, I had just split with DXH and was moving into a new apartment in Lou. Life was so different a year and a half ago, it turns out!

So quick update, I suppose.

I did move into a new apartment in Lou. I got my promotion and had a very difficult handful of months at work as I transitioned into that role, while dealing with the divorce. DXH and I finalized all of the paperwork for our divorce in January of this year. It went as well as it could have, and we are on good terms. Get together for coffee every few months. He's been seeing someone since last October.

After splitting, DXH and I decided to split our joint finances down the middle. I used that cash to pay off my car and one of my student loans. I consolidated my high-interest loans right before the divorce, so I got those interest rates down. I paid off another loan later in the year, so I'm down to one company and one bill per month for my student debt. I made a large payment this month and my sum is now to $27,628.63. Still MUCH higher than I would like it to be, but at least I'm at a point where I can start paying it aggressively.

I spent a year after the divorce in Louisville, working and trying to heal and figure out who I was as a person not with her partner. It was a very difficult 2018 for me, for many reasons. But I grew a lot, and regained a lot of myself and so much independence. It was the right call.

In May I found a new job that could move me back to Nashville. I'm the Marketing Director for a hospitality group and do all the marketing for our two (soon to be three) restaurants. It's rewarding, and it was exciting to move away from nonprofit for a while. I was making $50k with my promotion in Louisville. I got a $10k bump in pay when I took this new job. Which is good, because Nashville is insanely expensive. haha.

I found an apartment that I love, that I pay too much for, but can afford, and life is really incredible. I'm back to doing more writing and filmmaking, which is lovely and fulfilling.

My job brings me back and forth between Nashville and Louisville (our restaurants are in both cities), which means I travel a LOT between the two. Which would be less than ideal... if my boyfriend didn't live in Louisville We met in March, a couple of months before I was supposed to move. It wasn't supposed to be a permanent thing, but it ended up being too good to let go of. He's incredible, a great fit for me, and 8 months in to our relationship living 3 hours apart, we're still doing great.

I spend about 1/3 of my time in Louisville for work and spending time with him - and his kiddos! He has two little ones, soon to be 5 and 10 years old. We waited about 6 months for me to meet them, to be sure that it's the right move. I'm glad we did. He and his ex's split is even more recent than mine, so we wanted to make sure we weren't rushing into anything. The kids are transitioning swimmingly, and we get along great, and it's been really lovely having my first taste of family life. It's not at all what I expected or would have planned, but it's a life that so far I am absolutely in love with, and I couldn't be happier.

At this point, now that things are settling into a groove and I'm not in the midst of several different serious transitions, I'm looking at how to best reorient my spending and get my finances where I want them to be.

The last few months have been really spendy - on both things that I probably didn't need and also buying a plane ticket to Portugal in March (SO excited and ready for a vacation). But now that my big purchases are over with (thank goodness), I'm refocusing on getting rid of this student loan debt once and for all. My minimum is $262 per month. I'm hoping to add a $1k payment to that for the remaining months I've got it and throw as much as I can toward it otherwise.

I would love to be debt free in 2021, if possible.

My expenses are high where I'm living, but I made good money and still do photography and commissioned writing on the side, so I do have some side income as well. It's far from impossible.

I've got $5k in my emergency fund (I have an emergency fund!). Was going to fund that to $7500, but I think those funds are better directed toward my debt at this point. Once I've got the debt gone, I can work toward funding retirement. I do have about $11k between my Roth and a 403(b) from my previous job. I have a TSP from my military days that also has a few thousand in it, though I need to work on getting access to that and rolling it over. It's just sitting hopefully gaining interest at this point, so I'm not too concerned about it.

I'm taking November as a month of challenges: 500 words written per day, no-spend, and a minimalism challenge (I already live a really simple life, but I want to take it further because ya girl has a bit of a clothing addiction).

It'll be good to get a hold on things prior to the holidays coming around, so here we are.

I think this novel is sufficient for now! I'm looking forward to getting back into the groove of the SA community again. I've found so much inspiration in the past, and can't wait to see how everyone is doing

I can't believe that the month is almost over. It never stops amazing me how fast the time flies.

I've been in my new position for two weeks now and it's been more than a little stressful - to the point where I managed to get myself sick. heh. Thankfully that has calmed down and I'm trying to cut some other things out of my life to give myself some breathing room.

Went to Nashville both this weekend and last for events and doing headshots - $750 in extra income for the month, so not bad. That being said, I'm looking forward to staying in town for the next few weeks. It was a lot of fun nonetheless. I judged a film competition this weekend, and got to see so many of my friends from my creative community. It definitely reaffirmed and reenergized my desire to move back in a year, so that's really nice. Need to stay focused and financially prepare.

Got home and took a look at my financial picture right now. I'm not looking too bad. Once a payment and a transfer clear, I'm going to pay off the student loan balance at one of the companies I have debts with - roughly $2,500. That'll eliminate another $100 minimum payment and begin the process of snowballing this debt away. All the debt I'll have after that are two other student loan balances. And the credit card, which I'll be paying off in full every month (I just like getting the Amazon points).

Canceled MoviePass today (I haven't been using it) and Simplisafe (now that I'm living in a less intimidating part of town, I don't feel the need for a security system). So that will be some money saved.

Tomorrow DXH and I will be back at the old place doing the final cleaning and purging. It'll be nice to have that chapter closed - and hopefully all of our security deposit coming back. We were in there on Thursday getting a jump on it, and there were a few issues starting with leaking and water damage. It seems like we're moving out at a really good time.

Given that July was a turbulent month for me, and I moved, it was definitely a spendy one - but it feels good that things are separated now, that I made some long overdue progress on my debt, got a raise, and some freelance work that really makes me comfortable in approaching this new phase of my life successfully.

I'll be getting paid this Friday, and I'm excited to see what that paycheck looks like with the bump in my pay. Also excited to start August completely separate from DXH - no double rent or any residual stuff. Theoretically it'll all be my "normal" expenses moving forward.

There's nothing really left to buy for the apartment, I've got my washer/dryer in and functional (after having to swap out the cord for a 3-prong), and so I'm shooting for a very low-spend August. I want to really focus on my writing this month and get back into a solid creative roll again. Particularly coming off the energy I experienced over the weekend. I'm going to take a break from a couple of other activities and make sure I'm giving what's important it's due diligence.

That's about all I've got for now in this long-winded ramble. I hope everyone has had a lovely weekend!

This was my boss' last week at work, and I've been talking with our CEO about how things are going to progress moving forward (as well as learning a whole new job in just a hand full of days). Needless to say, it was an exhausting week - but of course there's good to come of all of it. One was the conversation I had about my pay increase.

I had given them a number last week that I would have been comfortable with. I'm currently making $35k, and asked for $42k as a base salary for my current job, not the interim department head. They came back with $39k for now - explaining that we can revisit after the transition time. They don't know how much they'll be paying the new hires, and there's a good chance that the department will be restructured a bit, so I can live with it. But during the interim while I'm taking over my boss' job, I'll also be making a bonus of $200/week - which would work out to more than he was paid monthly all things considered.

It's not quite what I wanted, but I didn't expect them to get there anyway. Our entire staff is grossly underpaid. Nonprofit or not, but I like my job and this raise certainly sets me up better on one income than I was before. For now, it's workable.

My boss that left, too, mentioned that they're going to need to hire someone new in his department coming up and would love to poach me. haha. So at least I know I'll have some options if things go terribly wrong. I wouldn't want to do that to the organization, so I likely wont. But again, it's good to have options.

For now, I'm just trying to stay sane and wrap my head around doing 3 peoples' jobs and enjoy my weekend. Things were overwhelming this past week, but they will be even more so without my boss around to answer questions and walk me through things. Trial by fire indeed.

***

Now that DXH and I split our finances and I have a decent handle on what my financial situation is going to look like, I decided to pay off my CC (I had racked up quite a few charges while replacing many of my belongings) and then made a $4k payment on my car, wiping that balance entirely. That's going to eliminate a $182 monthly payment, which I'm super happy about. Regardless of this raise, I'd love to have as much of my income freed up to use as I need to.

My account is going to have a surplus of about $3k at that point, which I'd like to move to a savings account and at minimum not touch, but hopefully add to. That's a nice little emergency fund. My only debt left at that point are student loans - shiny and refinanced. I'd like to start snowballing those babies ASAP. Right now I've got:

$2,570 AES Loan
$3,126 Great Lakes Loan
$31,146 Firstmark Loan
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$36,844 Total

That total is still overwhelming but given it was over $50k at one point and largely rocking a 10% interest rate, I'm feeling okay about it. Just need to get aggressive. I'm hoping to eliminate the AES Loan entirely by the end of the year, and I think that's entirely doable given that I'm freeing up $182/month in car payment and getting a substantial raise, at least in the short term.

I'm also taking on more freelance work. Which may not be smart for my sanity, but is certainly a good financial move. That being said, I might have to step away from a couple of other extracurriculars. I'm already feeling the pressure on my time and energy. Something's gotta give. And because my goal here is to set myself up financially to possibly move out of state again in a year, the revenue-generating aspects of my life are probably not the ones to skirt.

I need to do some real soul searching here soon to determine where that energy is going to be best spent.

***

The rest of my to-do list right now is centered around getting the last of my things from the last place, getting it all cleaned up. Should be getting my $600 half of our security deposit back, so that'll help in paying off that loan as well.

Still need to start the divorce paperwork. That's a task for this weekend. As well as filling out my beneficiary changes on my insurance and adjusting my HSA - I'm planning to schedule a whole battery of medical appointments I've been putting off for a while now. Guess I should start adulting properly. I have nobody else to lean on anymore, after all.

***

At any rate, that's a lengthy update. I hope you all are enjoying your weekends and making progress on those goals! Have a good one!

So D(X?)H and I got our bank account situation squared away this past week. He had a previously existing account still open from before we got married, so we just split our joint balance down the middle and transferred half to his account, then took his name off of it. Closed the joint CC. We're getting there.

Still haven't moved my washer/dryer. Between the hassle of hiring a truck, the weather not cooperating with my dear sweet volunteers, and the whirlwind of my life, I think I'm just going to hire someone to do it and save myself some headache.

The last two weeks have been rough to say the least. Had a really really bad (emotional) day at the end of last week, and it happened to coincide with my boss' announcement that he put in his two weeks. We were still trying to fill *his* boss' position, so currently I'm the most qualified person in the building to step up. Which I'm now doing, at least temporarily. While there are so many good things to this (will look good on my resume, is good experience, will come with a bonus), it's going to add a mountain-load of stress on my plate at a time where I was trying to eliminate as much change as possible. I really loved my management team when I was hired on, and now both are going to be leaving or gone. I met the top candidate for the senior position and wasn't even remotely impressed, so this could be really terrible in the end. I'm trying to stay optimistic, but it's hard to not be ridden with anxiety about the whole thing.

But hey, rolling with the punches is just what I've got to do right now. So do it I will.

The good news in all of this is that the raise I was already going to fight for has a lot more leverage behind it. I had the opportunity to give them a number, and we'll see what they come back with. Depending on how all of the transition goes, I may end up looking for another job. Not ideal given I'm not sure I'll even be in this city for longer than a year, but we'll see. If I can manage to stay put while making enough money and not wanting to rip my hair out, that's definitely my preference. haha.

***

Now that our finances are split, I have a much more accurate picture of what I have to work with and my budget. I'm really curious to see my first utility bill - that's still kind of a question mark. But hopefully once that bill comes in and I figure out how big of a bump I'm going to see in my salary, I can be on more solid ground for planning. Until then, just trying to keep expenses low and my mental health stable.

Hope everyone had a great holiday week. Enjoy the rest of your weekends!

I'm officially in the new place. Washer/dryer are going to be moved tomorrow with the help of a couple of friends. Still have some other odds and ends to get back over and grab, but for the most part that's it. All of the big furniture was hauled one carload at a time. No U-Haul. Just a lot of sweat. haha. I guess that means I don't have to feel as bad that I've been slacking on my workouts.

DH and I split the phone today, so that's that. When the guy told me my new rate would be $75/month I verified that I'm not on contract - I'll definitely be shopping around. I've never really liked T-Mobile anyway. Sprint may be the first one I look at... Got the internet up and running today, which is excellent. I'm back in action and fully functional here now.

We scheduled a meeting with the bank next week to split the bank account. We're going to wait for our last shared apartment payment to clear, pay off the CC, then split what's left. It's looking like $8,500-9k each. So a little less than what we expected, but we've been spending a lot these last couple of months. Eating out too much, replacing belongings. It adds up. I'm looking forward to getting back to normalcy and cooking consistently.

We still need to start filing the paperwork. Today he mentioned he was "waiting on me." I'm not sure whatever for. I guess he wants to sit down and do it together? I'm not sure, but now that the living situations are all worked out, it's probably come time to start that process. I think we're both avoiding it a little. It's more than a little sad. And this week has been particularly emotional because it was my last week in the house. We went out to dinner tonight and had a nice time, but it was definitely a sad note I left on. I guess it just comes with the territory. When I move one of our cats over I think it's going to be even worse. But it's all temporary. Time heals and all that.

On a happy note, I'm really loving my new place and it's starting to come together. Looking forward to getting some things up on the walls and it feeling a bit more lived-in, but I think I'm going to be really happy here, and I think it's a great space in which to weather this transition.

New couch is just LOVELY. It's the exact mustard yellow beauty I wanted it to be. Did have a little manufacturer's defect in one of the legs and a weird situation with the pricing when I ordered - but the customer service was amazing. I've got a replacement leg and a $100 refund already in the works.

In *other* good news, my two best friends from back home are coming to visit for the weekend, and I'm thrilled to see them. It's going to be a lovely distraction. We don't have too much in the way of concrete plans, which I kind of like. Very low key and up to our whims.

I'll be updating more regularly once the finances have been split and I have a more accurate picture of where I'm at, but for now I'm just enjoying the fact that I'm starting to get out of the purgatory phase and onto the new chapter. There'll be some more interaction with DH and I for a bit, which I'm actually grateful for. It's a real weaning process. I'm going to miss him a whole lot. Some steps are hard and some are not so hard, but I feel like they're going to get harder as things become more final. I'm glad we're not rushing it.

At any rate, this is already a novel. I hope everyone has a great weekend and is making progress on their goals!

With the keys in hand and an idea of what my new place will look like, I've begun the process of very seriously planning it and figuring out what things need replacing, given that we're splitting all of our belongings. I made some purchases today - couch, kitchen table, lamp (my new place has limited overhead lighting), a litterbox. I realized I had quite a bit of Swagbucks accumulated a few days ago, so I used $75 in giftcards from that ($50 in Target, which went toward the lamp, the remaining $25 in amazon for the litterbox).

It's really important to me that my space be really welcoming and calming - both for the sake of the transition, and because I plan to be spending a whole lot of time at home to save money in the long run. So I'm poking around and trying to make sure I'm being responsible with my spending, but also splurging a bit here and there for pieces I really love and reflect the kind of mood and tone I want to embrace in this new chapter of my life without DH in it.

I loaded up my car and will be running it over as soon as my bedding is done in the dryer. It'll be the first real collection of things moved in (outside of a single chair and my yoga mat, which made their way earlier this week). I'm also making plans to go out tonight, and might shower and get ready over there so I don't have to run back home. So things are moving along in some fashion.

Went over a lot of our belongings today with DH to figure out who is taking what and what each of us will need to replace. I'm making an IKEA run tomorrow - mostly for little things, but I'm looking forward to a little trip. Also picking up a vase from the Facebook marketplace on my way up. Been looking for a tall tall one for a while now, and it's only $15. So I figured while I'm up there I may as well pick it up.

My Navient loans are officially gone, and I got access to my servicing account for the refinanced loan. I can't explain how good it feels to have gotten rid of that 11% interest rate. It's like a huge weight has been lifted. I definitely feel better about my financial situation in the separation because of it. Looking forward to making more positive changes there - paying off my car, another student loan.

Once I get in the new place and get settled in, I'm going to look to booking more freelance work. I've been getting a bit here and there just because I'm involved in the performance community here, but I haven't actively been promoting myself at all. That will change soon, so I can divert even more funds toward that debt.

Overall, I'm really looking forward to getting to the point where things calm down and aren't quite so emotionally exhausting. I know I've got at least another month or so, but at least it's something to look forward to.

At any rate, time to get some moving done. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.

I put in an application yesterday for the place around the corner from where I work. Heard back today that everything was smooth in processing and he had me meet him at the unit to sign the lease and give me the keys. So it's officially official. I have a place to live and can begin moving in.

DH heard back about his today as well, and it seems like things are progressing the way they need to there as well. His potential move-in date is July 8. I'm hoping to have the bulk of my stuff moved by the time friends come in from out of town at the end of the month, and will be moving things gradually until then. I don't have a ton of big furniture, so I can basically load up my car every day and drop the load off before heading in to work, and I'll be pretty much set. That has the added benefit of letting it be gradual. A sort of weaning away from my current life into my new one.

With the move-outs being so soon, we're definitely looking to split up our bank account soon. I pulled my deposit and first month's rent from the joint account, so we'll do the same for his. But we don't want to wait much longer than that.

Also need to separate the phone plan. Wont be difficult, we just haven't felt like doing it. Same with the divorce papers. heh. We should probably file those at some point. I don't think we'll wait too long now that things are moving along.

Did talk to our HR person today about getting things in order to switch my beneficiary on my insurance. DH was under his own plan, so it's going to be relatively simple. I need to think through my HSA contributions while I'm at it - I know I have some things I need to schedule coming up. I already contribute a tiny bit per pay period, but it may be worth it to add to that at least for a few months.

My student loan refinancing was supposed to go through today but I haven't seen anything on the Navient end. Hopefully that will go through soon. I'm pretty excited to see it disappear. Serious good riddance to that horrible company.

That's about all the news I have at this point. Until we get everything split it's hard to have an accurate depiction of what my finances will look like, but at least I know what my rent is. Need to get internet set up in the new place toward the end of the month. It's looking like that will be pretty standard.

It's all very bittersweet - I'm trying to focus on the fresh energy of a new beginning. It's really difficult to do in this situation, and I've been feeling really drained for about a week now. I know it's temporary and all, but it's been difficult. Hopefully getting in and getting things organized will leave me in a more positive place. I do really like the apartment, and think I'll be happy there. Time will tell.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

So I've been pretty aggressively hunting for a place to live. I visited my first apartment on Wednesday and it hit me in ways I didn't expect it to. The divorce is starting to feel real now. Things have been so amicable and fairly normal up to this point. But it's really happening. We'll be moving on to whole new lives within the next month or so.

The hunting itself has been fairly challenging. I did visit a unit literally around the corner from my work, which is very tempting - being able to walk 3 minutes into the office is pretty incredible. And I would have no excuse ever to go out to lunch or to get coffee, as I could run home really easily. I would have close access to the pool and gym (both where I work), providing free entertainment with so much convenience. Distance from not so free entertainment is an added bonus, as it's on the higher end of the range I was looking to spend.

They're also willing to let me have the keys now and not pay for June (just put the utilities in my name)because I wasn't planning to move until July 1. So I would have *plenty* of time to transition, which is really nice. And the place itself is really nice. More room than I need, but nice.

I'm looking at a couple more in the course of the next few days, and I'm not quite to the point where I need to start panicking. So I'm trying not to make any brash decisions. All of this feels so quick right now, and a bit emotionally hard to get a handle on, so I'm not sure if my hesitations are due to that or places not feeling like a great fit. It's tough to say.

Let's hope something in my price range comes along and really speaks to me. Or that I feel more confident in the unit I'm considering after seeing a few more.

My student loan refinancing is supposed to go through this coming week, so I'm more than a little giddy about that. This must be what real adulting feels like. haha.

Did some organizing in the office, and had a quick convo with DH about some of the things we need to split. Up to this point we haven't had any real disagreements about anything, and hopefully it'll stay that way. All signs indicate that they will. I count myself incredibly lucky.

That's it for today. Hopefully everyone is enjoying their weekend!

So here we are again – I haven’t posted in quite some time, and a big life change is happening. So I come back to the SA community. Y’all have seen me through so many life changes. Why should this one be any different? Ha.

So I’m getting a divorce. DH and I have been unhappy for a long time and grown apart pretty drastically over the last few years since we got married. It’s been amicable – weirdly, lovingly so. We both know it’s the right thing to do, and we’ll both be better for it. Our divorce thus far has been far healthier than our actual marriage. Irony and all that. Nonetheless, it has been hard. We’ve been together almost 8 years. It’s going to be a lot of history to shift away from. It’s going to continue to be painful. But I’m trying to focus on opportunity and the chapter that lies ahead. There is plenty to be thankful for. Not the least of which being our continued support for one another.

The splitting up comes with a lot of logistical stuff to deal with, and going from two incomes to one is going to certainly be an adjustment. I’m apartment hunting right now. We’re on the hook for our current apartment until the end of July, so we have some time. Just seeing what’s out there and hoping something amazing in my price range pops up… We thankfully have about $20k saved up in our joint account since getting married. We’ll be splitting that down the middle. We have no shared property, so things should be pretty easy on that end. None of our belongings will be hotly contested or fought over, so it’s really just a process of getting it all done.

I drew up a budget for myself last week and was more than a little scared about making all of my student loan payments. I’ve been paying about $600/month in minimum payments, and an additional $180 for my car. Which is a lot for just my debt… But I think I’ve worked it all out for the best. I was able to get my big chunk of private student loans refinanced (approval went through today) – which not only dropped my minimum down, but also my interest rate went from an average 10% variable to a 6% fixed. Needless to say, I’m feeling pretty good about that right now. Really happy this full-time job thing worked out for me after all. Ha. So that dropped my minimum payments down by about $150/month. Then with the money we’re splitting, I’m going to pay off one of my federal loans (about $1600) – which will eliminate a $130/month payment AND the rest of my car (about $4400). I wont have a ton of savings to show for it, but at least I know I’ll be able to cover my bills. And of course I save on interest payments.

And while I will have dropped my minimum payments, I don’t plan to only pay the minimums. In fact, I’d like to continue paying about the same amount every month as I have been. I just want to make sure I’m good even if I can’t go above my minimums. Really, I’d like to aggressively pay my loans in the coming year – in a way that I couldn’t before (both because I was paying so much, and because DH was so appalled by my minimums that paying above was not an option). My plan is to divert the majority (if not all) of my freelance income toward debt. And step up the amount of that I’m doing.

My other plan is to ask for a raise – sooner than later. I have more than demonstrated my value since starting my job, and my boss is amply aware that I should be getting paid more. We’ll see what I can swing (or rather, what he can swing).

So I’m getting there. I’m plotting and planning and trying to figure out all of the things I’ll be able to manage through it all. To be completely honest, I’m ecstatic to get to live alone again. I really enjoyed it when I did. And while of course it was amazing to have shared finances, I’m excited to have the opportunity to really dig into paying off my debt in a way I haven’t been able to. I think it will be so freeing to see it being chipped away at, and will put me in a great position for the next chapter of my life – because I honestly don’t know what it will look like or where it will be.

I’m just beyond thankfully that I’m not finding myself in an awful position through all of this. I understand that I am truly lucky (from both an emotional and financial standpoint) for things to be as smooth as they are.

There are a million things I could update here, of course. But for now, I’m going to just be excited about this bit of progress. These days, taking things one day (or even hour, at some points) at a time is where I’m at. Just have to keep moving forward. Ever forward.

Hope y’all are well, and I look forward to catching up with your posts as I become more active!

This week went by in a flash, but it was a good one. Worked out every day - can't say I've done that recently. But I've been feeling better, slightly less sluggish. A little less focused, though, too - oddly. I really do need to schedule a doctor's appointment soon and get my meds refilled. It's starting to feel a bit more necessary.

It was a good day, relaxing. Planned out my grocery list, had a shoot this morning (putting me at $150 towards my $200 goal for additional income this month). Then went to yoga, then hit Aldi before coming home. Spent about $50 for the week - and that included a $7.50 frozen cheesecake we're taking to an xmas party this week. I thought of making something, but all told once I bought the ingredients I would have spent about the same. And I saved myself quite a bit of time. So I feel good about that.

Meals for this week:

Crock pot Chicken Cacciatore
Chicken Pot Pie Soup
Mexican Stuffed Peppers
Pineapple Chicken with Rice
Brats with Butternut Squash Risotto
Fried Rice
Emergency Pizza (always on hand)

Thinking that we'll have at least one of these meals roll over into next week.

In other spending, did hit up the consignment shop yesterday and grabbed a couple of sweaters and a dress. All work clothes, all will get a lot of wear and love. Was $40 for the 3 pieces. Also had my swimsuit delivered today, so I'll be adding swimming laps to my workout routine. Suit only cost me $20 on Amazon. Was a little skeptical it would be quality, but it's actually fairly nice. Will definitely work for my purposes.

Set my goals for the month. A few were holdovers from November (adhere to budget, finish webseries). Increased my goal to working out 3x per week, and added tweaking my HSA contributions and investigating student loan consolidation. I need to sit down and figure out what I'll likely be spending on medical expenses so I can adjust my (now $10/pay period) contribution to my HSA. I'd rather get the money pre-tax if I can. And now that I have a steady full-time job, it's much more likely I'll be able to find refinancing options. So I want to at least see what the options are and get more aggressive about paying those puppies down.

Also need to add "Finish Xmas Shopping" to the list. We don't have much left to do, but I want it off my plate well ahead of time.

Thinking I might put up our tree tonight, since we don't have much in the way of plans. All I've done since getting home from the store is read my book from the library - which has been delightful. After traveling so much in the last few weeks it's been awesome to just relax at home.

Hope y'all are having a great Sunday!!

Whew! What a weekend. It was a really nice time, but very long. We clocked about 14 hours in the car total, visited 3 different cities, and ate 3 different Thanksgiving meals. I gained roughly 6 pounds over the course of it all. haha.

Trying to get back to feeling normal. All of the traveling (and eating, and drinking) had me exhausted all day yesterday. We didn't get home til 5pm on Sunday, and the only thing I had the energy to do was throw some pasta in a pan and heat up sauce. I think I went to bed at 8:30.

Yesterday at work was alright despite the tiredness. It's going to be a busy week - which I don't mind so much. I went to the wellness center after I got off, and worked out for about 1.5 hours all told. I've been really enjoying one of the pre-programmed courses on the elliptical, and it's an hour long. At the end of that hour it says I've burned almost 700 calories, so I'm really good with that. haha. Then I got on the rowing machine for 2000 meters. After working out I swung by Aldi. Managed to stay under $50 - which puts me right at my $250 budget for the month. Would have been slightly less, but we had to buy some things for our "Friendsgiving" contribution when we were out of town - and those foil pans at the grocery store are ridiculously expensive. Had I realized I would have found a Dollar Tree or something. A 12-pack was also included in that, so the total there was close to $40.

I suggested to a friend of mine we get together this week because his birthday was over the weekend. When he asked where I'd want to go out, I suggested he come over and I cook, so that's what we're doing! I'm making chicken paprikas tonight, which has been sounding so good lately with the chilly weather. Bought a bigger bird than usual so I could use part of it for a soup I'm making later in the week. I've been saving all of my vegetable scraps to make broth. Want to add chicken to it for even more flavor (and the meat for the soup itself). I've never made broth at home, but when I saw the idea to keep the ends of carrots, celery, onions, etc. I loved the idea of not letting them go to waste. So I started a bag in the freezer to keep the odds and ends. And then the same with chicken. When I trim meat, I end up just throwing little bits in the trash. Saving them in the freezer made sense to me so I could add them to the broth. Less waste is always welcome in my house.

Meals this week are:

- Chicken Paprikas w Egg Noodles
- Sweet potato and black bean burrito bowls (DH made this last night and it was great)
- Hawaiian Chicken with Rice
- Sausage and White Bean Soup
- Emergency Pizza

I'm expecting leftovers with a few of these, so it should cover us through the week. Maybe more, we'll see!

Started my little bit of xmas shopping. Hoping to finish it all by the 10th or so - then ship the box out to my mom's. Clarified with DH's family that we will not be doing gifts again this year. Did grab DH a pair of socks. Will be picking him up just a couple more little things. Putting my tree up at some point this week!

Just hoping to ride out the rest of November here without spending too much. It was an expensive month with all the travel. December may be pricier than I expected it to be, as it looks like we'll have a few visitors over the course of the month, and DH is taking another trip back to Ohio (I have my opinions on this). But I'm going to do my best to minimize all spending otherwise.

That's about it for now! Hope you all have a lovely week!

My screenplay reading last weekend went great, despite some nasty weather that I'm sure kept some people home. It's always such a gift to hear my work brought to life, and my actors were fantastic. I'm very lucky. I got so many positive comments from attendees. Many asked what the next steps were, if there are any plans to put it into development because they'd actually like to see it as a movie. That's what we're aiming for, so it's good to hear the story is resonating with people. It bodes well

My producer thinks the script has about one or two more passes before sending it on to the distributor. Once we do that we're hoping for some buy-in and leverage to gain funding (this distributor works with big name studios as well as indie companies). He's the money guy. I've got not connections in the biz. But he seems confident this could actually happen. I'm trying to not let my imagination run away with itself.

Submitted the script to two film festivals. I'll hear back in February and March on both of those. The first draft went to the semifinal round in a screenplay contest earlier this year, so I'm hopeful that they will be accepted in its current (better) state now. Acceptance or a win would be great leverage for pitching the movie as well, so crossing my fingers!

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This week has just been flying by! It's exciting to have tomorrow and Friday off work, but I always feel the push to get completely caught up before a long weekend like this. Luckily, I've been fairly productive.

As far as spending goes, only spent about $33 at the grocery store over the weekend. We had dinners left over from last week, and we'll be out of town for the holiday - so it was mostly breakfast food, lunch fare, etc. Though I did pick up a pack of country style pork ribs for a little over $3 and cooked them in the crock pot with a bunch of leftover veggies and cream of celery soup. Yum. Will be adding that one to the rotation.

Got an oil change last night. Used a $10 coupon from the mail. It was still expensive, but we have a 5-hour drive back home coming up and it's been a little overdue.

It's going to be really nice to get to spend time with everyone. I'm glad we're not doing all 3 cities in one day like we typically do. Instead, we're doing a day per city. I'm hoping that will make it far less exhausting and allow us to really enjoy our time with each family/group. We'll be with family tomorrow and Friday, so I'm hoping it wont be a super expensive trip. Really, it should just be lunch a couple of times and of course extra gas.

Not doing any Black Friday shopping. I don't do crowds. I may hop online to see if there's anything worthwhile to grab. I'm still not sure what the story is with DH's family or whether we're doing gifts this year, so I've been holding off on planning for the moment. I'm sure we'll figure it out when we see them tomorrow, though.

Today will be finishing up work (and possibly staying late at work, depending on how productive I am), working out after, and getting ready for the journey. I hope you all have such a lovely Thanksgiving!

So though I've been budgeting with Mint for the last month or two - I had found some errors and needed to clarify a couple of things with DH about how things were being paid (he set up autopay for a lot of our accounts), and how often the university pays him. I adjusted my numbers and the situation isn't quite as dire as I had initially understood it to be - we can at least live off our full-time income without having to stress that one spare dollar over the budget is cutting into our savings. And if we're frugal about it, we could even sock some away in our savings. Which will be useful during the summer months when DH wont be working. His income is supposed to increase by a bit come next semester when he starts teaching, so that will also help. We can't quite sustain with just my income. Sadly, he makes about as much as I do as a PhD grad student as I do working full-time.

So with that accurate picture, I feel much more comfortable setting some goals for the next year or so. Now that I do have a full-time job, I'd love to revisit the idea of consolidating (at least my private) student loans to get those interest rates down. And I really love the idea of throwing any extra income that way so I can hopefully get rid of them some day... I'm already paying $640/month in my minimums. But it will remain like that if I don't get super aggressive.

Thankfully, I am seeing some business stirring. That last possible photography job did not end up happening, but I have another smaller gig in the works and a potential design project as well... so the networking has been paying off. This kind of work is so dependent on word of mouth. It's nice to see things picking up finally.

This week has been (and will continue to be) a pricey one. Just a lot of socializing - which means drinks, dinner. A friend of mine came through town earlier in the week. Another had a birthday. Today we're driving to Nashville for the taped table read of my screenplay (woooo!), but that also means food/drinks. Next week we're going back to Ohio for the holiday, which again... Thankfully we'll be with family a lot of that time, but not the entirety. And our gas budget is definitely blown.

I guess on the good news, I'm killing it with the grocery budget, and even with a couple small purchases my "misc" spending hasn't even kicked in because of the refund I got from my cancelled class.

Speaking of which, I got a GREAT deal the other day using Victoria Secret coupons from the mail. 20% off any item and 2 free pairs of undies with any purchase. I've been putting off buying another "everyday" kind of bra. I'm the type that wears the same one day in and day out most of the time. Which isn't good, and wears them out quite quickly. $30 for a VS bra and a couple pairs of undies was an incredible value.

Need to get a jump on my xmas shopping. Still need to get word from DH's family if we're going to do any gifts. But I for sure am going to buy something small for my mom, sister, and mom's BF to send to their place before xmas hits. And I think DH and I decided to exchange a couple small things. So there is some spending in the works.

I'm actually excited about xmas for the first time in a really long time, it just being DH and me. Our plan is to have a Die Hard marathon at home, lounging in our PJs, exchange gifts, make delicious food, and all around relax. I'm looking forward to putting up our tree. I'm looking forward to no stress. I'm looking forward to the holiday feeling like an actual holiday. It's an almost foreign feeling for me, but I can get used to it.

At any rate, time for me to get some things done before we whisk out of town for a really exciting event tonight! I hope you all are having such a great week.

It's been a nice last few days. Did my meal planning and grocery shopping yesterday. Spent about $71 - which is slightly higher than I wanted to, but we have the means to make 8 different meals, and I'm hoping I get at least two nights out of a couple of them. So it'll likely bleed into next week, offsetting the spending there.

Talked to mom last night for a few hours. It was good to catch up, and we had to discuss the holidays. I let her know we're not coming back for xmas this year, and she took it better than I expected her to. For Thanksgiving, I gave her the option of taking a share of our time on Thursday (we visit DH's family as well), or getting us for the whole day/night on Friday... and it looks like we're doing Friday. I'm happy about that, as the running around on the day of leaves us exhausted and frankly unable to enjoy the festivities fully. But also because DH and I can spend actual quality time with her on Friday - "The Circus," as my mom calls it (my crazy family) will be at her house Thanksgiving, and it's hard to really be present with her when I'm trying to make small talk with people whom I have strained and/or nonexistent relationships with. Needless to say, I'm not close with my family. So it's much better for my mom and I if we can all hang out without distractions and such.

We discussed xmas presents as well. We're scaling back, thankfully. My mom lives for shopping and gift-giving, so they'll never go away. But she's more focusing on one small gift per person - which is great. I think I'll get her something like that as well, but also put together something a little more personal to go with it and mail ahead of time. Then it'll be a matter of grabbing something for my sister and something small for my mom's boyfriend and I think that'll be it. Not sure what the plan is with DH's family. Still not sure if he's even told his mom we're not coming home. Last year we all decided to not exchange gifts, and it was nice.

I hope I don't come off as a scrooge - it's not that I don't enjoy giving gifts. It's just so strange to me to end up purchasing generic things people typically don't need because I don't have a close enough relationship with them to understand what they really enjoy. If I literally only see and/or talk to someone 1-2 days a year, a gift seems more like something I'm doing because it feels like I should.

That being said, DH and I aren't going hard on gifts either this year. haha. Last year we didn't do gifts at all. That being said, last year we didn't have "Our" Christmas - which we typically have on xmas eve. Because we were traveling. This year, I actually plan to put up the tree and perhaps do a bit of decorating. I know we'll make a really nice dinner. Lounge around and watch movies. I think one really small gift will still be nice, or I might suggest we get a game or something we can play together as a "joint" gift to ourselves.

I'd just so much rather focus on the spirit of the holiday than the stress of the "stuff." There's so much expectation and pressure built around it. Down with the pressure, I say!

It's been a low-spend week thus far. Only spent about $50 at the grocery store, and picked a couple of meals that are really lasting. I made brats with sauerkraut and a huge bowl of mashed potatoes on Friday, which lasted through the weekend (including lunches) and yesterday tried my hand at some slow-cooker rice and beans. Well, made the bean portion in the crock pot anyway. I think ours runs hot and they were more than a little overcooked, but it made an enormous batch. We may end up freezing some of it and still eating it for a couple more days.

I hopped on Mint this morning to check the situation. DH went out of town this weekend back to visit. Any time either of us goes back it's expensive - restaurant meals and such. So we're already over budget in that category. Trying to keep the rest of the month really low-key. It's difficult to manage DH in that regard. He's so used to being able to go out whenever he likes and buy whatever he wants. But now, anything above and beyond our budget comes out of savings. We're lucky to have a decent amount tucked away, but that wont last long if we're not careful.

Worked out again today. I've been great on my schedule. Twice a week (three times last week!). It helps that I work at a fitness facility. And have coworkers that are happy to jump in with me. It's been really nice starting to feel stronger. My boxing class was cancelled, which was a bummer - but at least I'll be getting a refund (it was a specialty class).

Still waiting to hear on a potential photography job. And we sent out the proofs for our school photos - one of the parents was so impressed with my work for her preschooler that she reached out about potentially scheduling a session for her other kid. So that was really positive! It was a huge project at work that I was really stressed out about, so it's nice to know that parents are happy with the images.

That's really all I've got. Going to spend the night in, (hopefully) getting some work done. Finished the script for a short film this morning, so I was pretty excited about that. My habit of waking up early and writing has been going strong for a good month now! It's really exciting.

Hope everyone is having such a great week!

I've been around SA since 2006, but I'm not sure I've consistently blogged for more than a few months at a time. And when I stop, things tend to go by the wayside. So I'm committing myself to doing better. Once again.

The last time I wrote was back in March, and MUCH has changed since then. DH and I made our move up to Louisville at the end of May. I spent three months in a very painful and stress-inducing job hunt. Then finally got a full-time job and started working mid September.

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My goals for the year looked like this:

[ ] Adhere to monthly budget, continuously - NOPE.

When we don't really pay attention or plan, this is the case.

[ ] File taxes by March 1

Finally got done, but it was a NIGHTMARE. Will not be using that accountant again. We did get a bit of a return, so that was nice.

[ ] Ideally, save an additional $5,000 prior to June 1 - NOPE.

[ ] Find an apartment in Louisville for

Just realized it's been about a week since I last posted. I need to stay on the ball (when I'm not posting, you can be sure I'm probably spending more than I should). It was a fairly busy week, and a slightly spendy one.

I decided to forego having a drink after class, and instead spent some time with a friend (just hanging out outside of the studio). The rest of the week there wasn't so much socializing. Just a lot of work and writing. Then Sunday DH and I had our "Date Day" - which was a day trip 2 hours away to Huntsville, where we visited the US Space and Rocket Center. I'm a huge space nerd, so it was pretty fantastic. We saw "Hidden Figures" while we were there (cheaper than a movie pass at the theater), then used a Groupon gift card a friend got us for xmas for dinner. Ended up taking home leftovers that I ate for lunch yesterday.

Yesterday was a rather insane day - I had found a job posting that I was really excited for, and was doing the research I felt I needed to write a very well thought out cover letter, etc - when I realized that the application deadline was 3 HOURS later. So it was a mad rush to get all of the information together and in the online system (which takes forever all by itself), then hastily write a cover letter. I didn't even have time to proofread it... so I'm a bit discouraged by that. It's the first job I've seen posted in the new city that I was so excited about that I applied this far out. Who knows what will happen... it was just frustrating given that I was going about it the right way and trying to be overprepared - then ended up having to muddle through it at the speed of light. It makes the rest of my job hunt process that much less enticing.

After the job application fiasco I went with a friend out to some thrift stores. We were looking for a prop for our upcoming shoot. We found some great options, and I also found a pair of adorable new heels and a blazer that I think will be great for job interviews - both $6 at Goodwill.

We did our grocery shopping as well. $62 at Aldi and I think about $20 at Target (we needed cat food). We looked at getting replacement brush heads for our electric toothbrush at Target and they were $21 for a pack of 5! Did a quick search on Amazon and it looks like we can get a generic pack of 20 for $17... so you know which way we'll be going on THAT. Sheesh.

We had our "V-day Celebration" last night - which consisted of making this feta dip and eating some brie for dinner. lol. It was supposed to be our appetizer, but we were both full and decided to save our steaks. They might end up being lunch today because we defrosted them, but I'll be out of the house from 3:30 until late tonight at class and he hosts trivia tonight.

Took a look at our budget, which isn't going nearly as well as I had expected it to. Our water bill was more than expected, our internet bill made up for the reduction we had last month (should have expected that), the oil change was more than expected. Thankfully we're not crazy over on our restaurant or misc budgets, so there's that. It's just disheartening to see all that red in Mint! ha.

At any rate, I should probably get to some work. This week is going to be just as (if not more) busy than this past one!

It was a very busy and very enjoyable weekend for me. Worked Friday night, then came home and got ready for my trip on Saturday. Woke up bright and early and drove to Lexington to meet my friend from Ohio. The AirBnB was fantastic, in a great location, and perfect for what we needed. We got lunch and a couple of beers at local breweries, then spent the night in with a bottle of wine, Indian takeout, and a couple of boardgames. It was absolutely perfect.

I added up the cost - and it ended up not too bad.

- $51 for the AirBnB (friend bought my drinks and lunch to cover her half of cost)
- $5.08 for a drink and snack on the way there
- $15.80 for Indian takeout
- $10.59 for bottle of wine (in retrospect, I prob didn't need to buy a bottle. But now I have some at home)
- $18.48 for breakfast
- $20 for extra tank of gas

Total: $120.95

I think the lesson I've learned is that I could shave off some extras at meals - probably didn't need an appetizer with the takeout, or a coffee and OJ at breakfast... Ah well.

Regardless, though, the trip was a great success - and I found an audiobook at the library that I am LOVING so far, which I got over halfway through on the way there and back.

***

The other expense that went way above my expectation was my oil change... I was well overdue for one. This is my first since moving South, and back in Ohio I always used the LubeStop by my house - which is roughly $60 for a full synthetic oil change. I go synthetic because I can get about 6,000 miles between changes rather than 3,000. At the Jiffy Lube by my place here in TN, the full synthetic change was $90!! What?? It was most surprising because I used to work there, and I don't ever remember it being that high.

I think the worst part is that they have you get out of your car before presenting the prices - so they're already done with half of your "inspection" (again, I work there, so I should have remembered this). So by the time I got the fun news, I didn't really have time to go somewhere else, and I was already out of my car and it was over the bay. So I just went with it. Though I didn't do the full synthetic. I did the synthetic blend, they gave me $10 off, and it still managed to be $70 total.

Needless to say, I wont be returning.

I may just break down and start pricing tools so I can do it at home. I'll have to price it all out and see how it works out. Or just research competitors in the area.

***

Grocery shopping today - and then I think I might be foregoing the networking meeting I was planning to attend. I'm exhausted from the weekend and haven't had a full day at home in weeks, it feels like. I wouldn't mind some time to catch up on a few things and maybe, I don't know, work out... haha. That weight isn't going to lose itself!

Hope you all had a great weekend!

We're already one month into 2017. How did that happen?? Sigh. So I paid all of my monthly bills this morning and set out our budget. It'll be slightly less lenient than last month, but not too much so. Adjusted the gas budget to reflect the unexpected increase last month. Added a couple of things we know are coming up (Amazon Prime membership, a gift for his cousin who just had a baby). Adjusted the restaurant/bar budget - we're still only planning to eat out when we have company or are traveling, but we're both going to be out of town this weekend and we have friends visiting later this month. So the budget reflects that.

We decided that we're not doing gifts for Valentine's Day. We're going to make a nice dinner in - with the steaks my MIL bought us for xmas. And I'm going to make this whipped feta recipe. When we went to dinner this past month on our one date night we tried it, and it was delicious. So I'm attempting to recreate at home.

Also adjusted DH's and my misc spending money (essentially our allowances). DH mentioned wanting a little more freedom to get out of the house and go to a coffee shop, etc. He works from home and doesn't really have any friends here (as much as I've tried to introduce him to people), so he ends up cooped up most of the time. I am hoping to host a board game night sometime this month to get him a bit more social. And I think we'll be attending an Oscars party at the end of them month. It'll be good for him.

Updated my goals for February - most are holdovers from last month. It ended up being a really busy month and I while I didn't accomplish everything I set out to, I'm happy with what I did. And I'm just happy that I've been consistent in updating, because honestly it's the only thing I've found that keeps me accountable. So grateful to have you all here to motivate me!!

So that's that! Hope y'all had a great January and are looking forward to a productive February!

So here we are already. Just a couple of days left in the month! Sat down and looked over our budget and spending with DH, and overall we're pretty happy with how we did. We were over in a few areas, but there were also several things we hadn't accounted for at the beginning of the month - needing to get a new router, friends coming into town this weekend, needing to buy $50 worth of cat litter... you know. Our gas bill was also much higher than usual. Which is surprising. It wasn't even *that* cold this month. We'll see how it goes in February.

Took a look at my goals for January:

Net Gain of $1,750 in account - Actually, even with the unexpected spending, we're ending up with a surplus of $2,377!! Which is super exciting! We underestimated our income and had a couple of unexpected additions (HSA reimbursement, DH's trivia pay). So overall, really great progress there.CHECK.

Uber Frugal Challenge - I can't say this was entirely great, but we definitely cracked down on a lot of spending and were MUCH more intentional about it. This is particularly applicable to restaurant spending. It wasn't zero. But 95% of the month we cooked and ate at home. We had one date night, and the rest of our restaurant spending happened in the last two days because we had friends in town. There were some extras purchased, no doubt. DH bought a ticket to a soccer game, I bought some clothes from work yesterday ($28 for two dresses, a blazer, a pair of earrings, and a necklace) because it was our 50% off sale - and they're items I've been eyeing for months. Also, the AirBnB room for Lexington next weekend. So maybe not as "Uber Frugal" as Ms. Frugalwoods would have it, but I'm really proud of how calculated we were. So I'm calling it a win. CHECK.

Change phone plan - Nope. We really just need to get it done. Been procrastinating it forever.

Consolidate/put into forbearance gov't loans - Made some really great progress here, though it's not quite there.

Get HSA stuff figured out - CHECK.

Start GIS training (for resume building) - Not yet. Realized I had some technical issues, so I need to sit down and figure out how to install the software. Forthcoming.

Research networking opportunities in Louisville - CHECK.

Start putting together planning portfolio - Started compiling info, but haven't started actually building it out.

Edit screenplay - Still have a couple of days left in the month, and I'm hoping to get this done. Haven't quite started, but I did write an episode for a web series that a group of us is planning to shoot in the next month! So certainly haven't been idle.

***

So it was a pretty productive month! Even better - DH and I have been communicating much better about our finances. Which has been helping SO MUCH. He was really shocked (and happy) to see that we had such a high net increase for the month. He's on board with limiting our spending as much as possible again and only eating at restaurants when we have company. I'll have to rework the budget for February to include a few things we have coming up, but it shouldn't be too different.

Hope you all had a wonderful month!!

So - heard back from my banker friend, and it turns out that his company can't really get me a better interest rate on my loan. My credit score is fantastic (770!) and he said my debt-to-income is great too. But apparently being self-employed hurts my chances, at least with his company. However, he did give me contact info for a former coworker at another (bigger) bank, and said that I'll probably be able to get 6-7% through them. So there's hope yet for pulling things down. Though I might just wait until I secure a full-time job. I'm going to talk to her and see what she thinks. If it wont make a difference, then it makes sense to just do it now. But if it will, waiting might be worth it.

***

Went ahead and booked the AirBnB in Kentucky for the weekend after next. Requested the day off of work, which my boss said was fine. She hadn't actually finished the schedule, so it may not make a big difference in terms of my income regardless. One night in the AirBnB is only $50 after taxes, and we're splitting it. So it's the matter of gas, $25 for the room, and whatever I spend on food/drinks for 24 hours. For a much-needed getaway with the bestie I would say that's a steal. I'm super excited about it

***

Had lunch meetings yesterday and today - though today I just had a cup of soup at Panera. All came out of my business expense account, so there's that. Brought enough leftovers home yesterday so that DH could enjoy them today.

Will possibly get a drink at the bar after class tonight. We'll see how everyone is feeling. DH and I have had a rough go of the last few days, but thankfully last night we came to a resolution and things feel good again. Other than just being exhausted (emotionally and physically). So I may not feel up for socializing. We shall see.

Making enchilada casserole for dinner tonight before I head out, which should last us a couple of days at least. Tomorrow I have a shoot, so I hope the weather holds out. The rest of the week will be a balance of work and friends coming in from out of town. Not sure what the plan is there, but I'm sure we'll find something enjoyable to do.

That's about it for today. Hope you're all enjoying your week!

That's pretty much what it's has become for me now that the boutique is closed Sundays - meal planning, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning. Feels good to get it done, and I usually work on Saturday, so it's nice to get it done.

Hit up Aldi, and I think was only a dollar or so over my budget. Spent $48.48. I think that's partially because we didn't end up cooking two of the meals from last week's menu... so they're on this week's. In the works:

- Chicken Lo Mein (I'll be making this tonight)
- Enchilada Casserole
- Chicken Alfredo w/ Linguine
- Steakburgers w/ Roasted Carrots
- Chicken Tenders w/ Tots
- Brats in a Blanket w/ Green Beans

I'm hoping the casserole will feed us 2-3 nights, actually - and we'll do leftovers and/or use the brats for lunch.

Tomorrow I'm taking a fellow BNI member out to lunch (because I forgot I needed to provide a "door prize" during my presentation this week). It'll be Mexican, so hopefully cheap. Also, we have friends that are in town for a wedding this weekend - which I forgot will likely alter our eating schedule. My guess is that we'll hit a restaurant at least once. But hopefully not more than that. We rarely get visitors, so it'll be really nice to see them. Just going to have to make the best of it.

Despite all of my best efforts to only eat at a restaurant once this month, it seems we're not getting away with it. DH has already gone out twice to grab stuff for lunch :/ And socializing makes it difficult. Sigh.

***

Talked to DH and let my banker friend know to start my loan application without DH's information - better to at least see what the picture looks like without before adding it in there. The fact that we got into a huge fight the other night (not about anything financial) helps me think logically about the whole thing. You never know.

He said I should hear back early this week, so hopefully it'll be news of decent interest rates. I'm only looking to do the $25k at this point - the process is easier and I'd rather not touch my government loans, just in case (though I wouldn't bank on it) there are options for forgiveness in the future.

***

One of my best friends from back home called and proposed we get together the first week of February - meeting in the middle, 4 hours away. Which I reeeeeally could use in my life right now. Waiting for her to send over the cabins/AirBnBs she's researched to see what the cost is. And I have to get in touch with my boss to see if I can get that Saturday off. Overall, not the best financial decision. So I'm feeling a bit guilty about it. At the same time, though, I think we could make it happen fairly cheaply. Split the cost of a room, bring our own food. I think all in all it would be fantastic.

I don't love that it's so soon, but with her babies and our schedule in March, it might be the only opportunity. So I'm still thinking that through.

***

Finished the Hobbit! Now to read the two books I've got from the library... Think that's about it for news!

At work yesterday our boss let us know that the store is no longer going to be open on Sundays - we extended our hours about 3 months ago, but the sales that day are so horribly low it doesn't even cover the cost of our being there. So it makes sense. I work for a non-profit, and it's no use burning up money that could be funding programs to employ us when there are no customers in the store. I'm obviously a bit sad to lose the hours - but at the same time I'm thankful to have a bit more time now that my photography is starting to pick up. It's a matter of losing about 5 hours a week. If I can use those hours productively, it'll balance out for the better in the end.

Also, I'm excited to have my Sundays back. As things have picked up, I'm finding myself needing to adjust again. When I was just running my business I had my flow. But cutting 15-20 hours out of my work-week, working on my feet on concrete has not only messed with my flow, but also my energy levels. Turns out I'm not as young as I used to be

***

Filled up my tank yesterday. Shouldn't be doing any spending today. Had my BNI presentation this morning, and it went pretty well. Finished up a proposal for a fellow member who wants me to build her a website. Would be a great project. Have two shoots in the works for the next couple of weeks and 3 one-on-one meetings scheduled. So networking is going well.

Had a meeting with another member earlier this week - a banker. He's planning to schedule a shoot as well, and I started talking with him about my student loan situation. After sending over some information, it looks like I might have some options! I have about $40k in student loans, with interests rates sitting around 9%. He said we should be able to refinance somewhere in the range of 5-7%, so that's exceptionally encouraging. Fixed rate, a balance that actually goes down every month? Pretty exciting to think about. So I'm having him run some numbers and we'll see what happens. The only thing I'm a bit worried about is the fact that when I do refinance, my "student loans" I assume turn into mere "bank loans." I'm not sure how lenders look at that, and I'm curious if that affects anything moving forward. Either way, however, it feels like cutting my interest in almost half, if possible, is the only logical decision to make there.

The conversation about my debt with DH is always a strained one, for obvious reasons. I know he's willing to cosign, etc. But he has no debt outside of an auto loan, and I don't think either of us is naive enough to dismiss the (minute) possibility of the "D-word" at some point. Obviously, neither of us wants that - but we're also realistic and understand that we just don't know what the future holds. It's really strange managing money as a married couple. I feel like it's getting better, but it's just so emotional and complicated. I have faith, though, that we'll arrive at a place that makes sense and allows us both to feel comfortable in the decision.

***

No other news except that DH did finally transfer the money from his HSA to cover his dental appointment last month. So that's taken care of. Just need to start attacking some of the other items on my to-do list! Time to get to work!

No-spend day yesterday. Had a really productive day off, and made chicken paprikas for dinner. We have a TON of leftovers, so we'll have it for lunch/dinner today, and perhaps dinner tomorrow. I think the rest I'll freeze. Certainly don't want it to go bad!

I have a meeting with a potential client here in about an hour, then a possible shoot this afternoon (we're going to see what the weather is like later today). Acting class tonight, and I'll probably head to the brewery after - purchase one beer. Still within the budget. I just need to make sure to bring snacks to class. That worked really well last week.

Had an invite from a friend this morning - to possibly go out dancing this Saturday. Not sure what I want to do. Kind of hoping that it ends up getting pushed off to February. I think I'll decline if not. I have a shoot Saturday morning, then work in the afternoon. I'l probably be pretty tired.

That's about it for financial updates. Just trying to tackle these to-do list items! Hope you are all having a lovely week!